Friday, March 26, 2010

The Gay Adventures of Charlie Ballard

Hey everybody, just came back from downtown Toronto and I had one hell've day.

It started off good. First, I went to, "Hair on a Dog" , on Church street for lunch, it was a pricey but alright. I ordered the mac/cheese and the crispy potato skins. The whole time I was there I was planning my day out with the local paper, I found several comedy open mics to keep me busy threw the weekend.

Before I started cruising the open mics, I wanted to stop by the Canada Native Centre and found it across town off Bloor St. That place was pretty cool, the people there were nice and friendly.

On my way back to the hostel, I stopped by one of the food trucks for a quick cheeseburger. I don't know which country those burger truck people were from but it tasted like shit, it smelt like a burger, it looked like a burger, but something about it was just off. I ate it anyways.

My first open mic comedy outing for the evening was the Hot Box Cafe. That place was off the hook. For that venue, pretty much the whole crowd smokes weed before, during, & after the comedy show. Knowing this beforehand, I tried not to let it bother me. I love performing for stoners but sometimes they just laugh at the wrong shit, not their fault.

After that, I hustled over to Yuk Yuk's to check out the other comedians for the competition, I saw some good ones but I couldn't stay because I was trying to hit up some more open mics. Before I cut out, the owner of the club came up to me and shook my hand, he said he wanted to say hi the night before but didn't get a chance. I thought that was a nice gesture.

Eventually I ended up at McVeigh's open mic on Church St. This was a fun one. I knew it was going to be a hard show because the room was filled with mostly comics and probably 3 audience people. I didn't go on until the end of the show and if any real audience person who has ever sat through an amateur open mic, they will tell you that the show was over after the first five comedians. Knowing that, I tried to change it up and do my gay hooker character, "Sandwich" . It was a lot of fun to do and I really had a great time, I can't say so much for them.

Next I went up the street to the gay area to find some hostel people who were out partying. I couldn't find them so I just came straight home but not before stopping by a gay stripper bar called, "Remington's" , on Younge St. Some of you may remember my Indianapolis and Chicago blog's about my adventures at those gay strip bar's, well compared to those two, this one kicked ass. The guys were bigger, masculine, and not bad looking. It was a full frontal strip club and some of those guys weren't playing around. I actually saw a couple straight women in there too and I thought that was pretty funny. I think every woman should go to a gay stripper bar, it's so empowering and it's like, "finally... real equality" . I was about to leave when "Pier" , a black French/Canadian gay stripper approached me and asked me if I wanted a private dance in the back. He basically said, "I have the biggest cock in town and do full service, safely of course " . That was nice of him to come over but I was so trying not make eye contact with any of those dancers because I didn't want to lead them on, not because I wasn't interested but because I only had like $5 in my wallet and you guys know I'm saving that for lunch tommorrow.

Alright everyone, have a safe weekend!


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