Sunday, October 24, 2010

Blog from the future

Because I'm 36, I'm still allowed to talk about sex that doesn't make me sound too creepy. Because right, isn't there an age cap where if you're still blogging about your sexual disfunctions, then you're problem isn't sex, you just weren't fucked enough as an adult.

So tonight I'd thought I'd stretch myself and see what kind've blogging topics that I would write about in the future, say like in 50 years. Enjoy!


Date: 10/24/60

Good morning everyone, Charlie Ballard here and it's Halloween week. This year at the retirement center we're having a Halloween party, I don't know why, the same stuff happens every year, somebody eats candy they're not supposed to and ends up shitting all over themself. That's what I hate about living with old people, sometimes I think they shit on themsevles purposely just so they have an excuse to spend time with the attendents.

Gee, somedays I still can't believe I'm alive. All my friends either died off from AIDS or drugs. I miss them very much. I don't feel lonely, thank god for televison. I love watching comedy shows because it reminds me of the days from when I use to be a stand up comedian. Oh shit I was funny. I remember performing in front of crowds so big it felt like it was a dream. Those were the days when I was happy, comedy was my life and she was always there for me, helping me get threw the bad times - my mom's death, my bestfriends death, my first heart attack, and even the great war of 2045, and whoever would've thought the Chinese would've kicked our asses on that one?

If it's one thing that I'm really thankful for, it's that I never wore out my asshole from all that gay sex I use to have. My gay friends use to tease me by saying, "what good is having a tight 30 year asshole that you never use" and my response, "not having to carry around a colon bag with me everywhere I go from when I got into my 80's" . :0

Peach on Earth
Charles K Ballard

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