Wednesday, January 19, 2011

Planes, Trains, and Dragqueens

Hey good people, it's 2:30am and I just pulled back into my hotel.

Let's do a recap of today's events.

I finally got my ass out've bed around 1pm and managed to run the lake. From there, I knew time wasn't going to be on my side, so I was in a race to try and get as much shit done before my 5pm flight out've SFO.

My first thing was to wash the dishes and scrub the bathroom tub.

I didn't get a chance to leave the house until 3:30pm and then I had to wait another 15 minutes at the bus stop because the AC Transit bus driver was running late. He knew he was running late and I appreciate his knack for trying to get back on schedule because everytime he let passengers off, I could hear him saying under his breath, "get the fuck on my bus, I gotta go" . You go boy.

And of course I had to transfer a few BART trains because they're no direct service from Oakland to SFO. This is what I get for being cheap, I could've been at the Oakland Airport by now but no...... I had to save 10$ for taking a flight out've SFO.

I was waiting downtown SF and my BART train finally arrived at 4:25pm, needless to say, my train didn't pull into SFO until exactly 5:00pm. And my flight was leaving at 5:15pm. And of course I had to wait another 5 minutes for the SFO tram ride over to my terminal.

Can you guys feel how my day was going?

Okay now, picture this. Today I decided to wear my flip flops and shorts because I thought it was going to be a relaxing day. So with minutes to spare, I was running like a mad bitch through the SFO airport trying to catch my plane, flip flops and all. There is no graceful way to run into flip flops, especially if you're 6'4, 250 large gay man.

I get through airport security and I could see a guy boarding at my gate and I thought, "shit, I made it" ! And as soon I whipped out my boarding ticket, the gate attendent said, "sorry, go see the ticketing agent" , and they end up boarding me for a later flight.

I tried not to make a scene and politely said, "thanks" .

Missing my 5pm flight was probably a good thing because it gave a chance to catch my breath and get a sandwich.

When I arrived at LAX, I got my car rental, checked into my hotel and bolted for WeHo.

The first place I hit was the Fubar for Karaoke night with Bruce Daniels. I just wanted to pop in, say hi to Bruce, and then to dash over to Mickey's.

When I got to the main strip, I saw a drag show going on in the Rage night club. It was the DreamGirl Revue featuring castmembers from this season's: RuPaul's Drag Race. Shangela, a past castmember brought the house down with her Nicki Minage compilation.

After the show, the crowd disbanded and I do mean disbanded. Everyone either went over to the Abbey or Mickey's. I was headed towards Mickey's but I wanted to try something different so I went into the Eleven nightclub and they happen to be doing a show called Jokie Karaoke, half comedy & half karaoke.

My eyes lit up because I was dang, "maybe I might be able to cap off some jokes tonight after all" .

I've done comedy at Karaoke night before and it usually goes well if the crowd is attentive, needless to say these faggots were ripped and weren't having it.

And to make matters worse, the Karaoke machine went down and they pulled me up earlier than expected to fill in time until they got it working again.

I probably managed to get 3 jokes off before I got drowned out with loud drunk chatter but being the seasoned pro I am, when life gives you lemons, you make those bitches eat lemon pie.

So after I lost them, I got their attention back by saying, "instead of telling jokes, who wants to see some ass" ?

And then I managed to pull a few queens on stage and talked them into doing a mini amateur strip show while I emcee'd it. Not only was the crowd into but everyone finally loosened up and had a good time.

So that was my night.

Amazing, huh.


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