Holy shit I miss getting plastered on beer and hard liquor.
I really miss drinking to where it makes me want to drink again but not enough to where it makes me talk to people who I normally wouldn't talk to if I wasn't drinking.
For me, the booze creates an instant bonding experience with complete strangers. The flipside is after you sober up, you're like, "what, I said I wanted to convert to Islam because they know how to dance, huh" ? Exactly.
So that's me, stuck in the sad state of clarity and reason.
On a unrelated note, I almost had another anxiety moment in my sleep lastnight. It was like I couldn't catch my breath but I forced myself to take a full breath. It was a bitch trying to get myself back to sleep after that. When I closed my eyes I could see the gate to my dreams but in the back of my head I was worried that I was going to wake out've it with shortness of breath.
Like any good scientist, I've been taking notes or looking for the common denominators in my sleeping habits and I've noticed one pattern right away, in every instance there was a twinkie, ho ho snack or peanut butter/honey sandwich involved.
So that's what it is, I gotta stop this latenight binge eating before I go to sleep, it's kicking my ass.
Maybe it's all the peanut butter I'm eating, maybe there's peanut butter stuck to my lungs and it's not allowing me to breath.
I wonder what if there's a medical term for this, peanut butter-itis?