Wednesday, April 6, 2011

My Worst Sexual Experiences in SF

I was on Twitter and a writer from SF Weekly is looking for stories on the worst sexual experiences you've ever had in San Francisco, so here we go.


1) using my ass shot on Craigslist casual encounters and then having someone email me back, "hey, aren't you that comedian Charlie Ballard" ?

2) going on a blind date with another guy only to find out that our personalities aren't compatible but we fuck anways.

3) having to resort to pick up men at bus stops and other pedestrian areas because I don't have a car.

4) getting crusied by a straight guy only to find out the reason why he picked me up in the first place was because I kind've looked like a tranny.

5) making a random hook up take me to Taco Bell afterwards because I wanted something back in return.

6) always, always, always, always getting cruised by male hustlers because I, "look like" their clientale.

7) hoping my SF date would drive me back to Oakland after our hook up but then getting stranded in SF because I didn't have enough money to ride the latenight bus back to Oakland.

8) meeting a guy online and he says his fantasy is to fuck in some abandoned alley in SF and I reply back, "I don't do alley's" . And the truth is I don't do alley's anymore because that's basically all I've ever done in SF for the past 10 years.

9) always, always, always.. getting cruised by black guys on the down low, for once I'd like to get cruised by a white guys on the down low.

10) I hooked up with a guy once who wanted me to beat him off with my feet because he had a foot fetish. I was so mad he wasn't into anything else about me except for my feet so I ended up beating him off and right when he was about to cum, I yanked away my feet and decided to leave him with blue balls, that fucker. And I made sure he drove me back home before I said no.

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