Friday, September 30, 2011

Pearl Sullivan

Hey everyone!

I, Charlie Ballard, having an eye for talent just found this awesome new t-shirt design by artist Pearl Sullivan.

Check it out!

I really like the drip technique she used because it conveys a strong sense of emotion, there's almost a sense of desperation and, "I'll do anything for you" , with the way the letters are dripping, which I'm sure many people in love can relate to.



Pearl also knows how to silk screen her own t-shirts, so she said she'll send me one but it's going to say, "I Love Him" !!

Thanks Pearl!

xoxo

Federico Castelluccio



Hey guys, this week's spotlight is on Actor/Painter Federico Castelluccio.

Some of you may know him from his role on the Soprano's, not me.

I was watching Celebrity Ghost Stories last night and when it was his turn to tell his spooky story, I was like, "who the fuck is he" ?

As you guys can see, I don't watch the Soprano's.

Anyhoo, as he went on to tell his ghostly encounter and the tv show showed some of his paintings which I thought were very eye catching, so much that I had to google his paintings because I thought they were so good, so here are some of my favorites.

There was one of his drawings I saw on the show that I couldn't find, I thought it had so much depth but nonetheless you can tell by his other works he's a very talented painter.

So here we go, I don't know what he calls this painting but it's definitely banana inspired. I love the color and you can tell that he see's the same color in the landscape. The color yellow has so many interpretations so I'm going to take a stab and say he was in a good mood when painted this, for me the yellow indicates vitality and sense of yearning.



Blue is the main theme is this painting and that color also represents self reflection so I get a certain loneliness from this painting. It feels like he's trying to surround himself with the other objects to fill the void but it's not working hence the dominant color blue takes the foreground.



This one is good but it's very sad, you can tell that by the colors he chose. I would almost say the woman in the bottom right hand corner is someone that has passed on and that he misses.



I would also just like to say, if I ever dated an older man, this is exactly what he would look like, and he would probably have the same background too.

There's something charming about a refined man into the arts.

xoxo

Thursday, September 29, 2011

Hot Dog

LGBT t-shirt ideas !

I just came up with some great ideas for a LGBT t-shirt company!

1) Tight Bottom
2) Gay for Pay
3) Yes Homo!
4) Short but Meaty
5) Inexperienced
6) Born Again Virgin
7) Size Queen
8) Use 2 B Straight
9) Battery's Not Included
10) Gives Great Tongue

11. I'm so gay I sweat glitter.

Monday, September 26, 2011

Anne Hathaway - Cat Woman Photo

I, like everyone else, am waiting to see what Anne Hathaway's, "Cat Woman" , costume is going to look like?

The wait is over and I'm a little disappointed. I'm sorry but her outfit just looks so plain. I really hope I'm wrong for when the new, "Dark Knight Rises" , movie comes out, so for now her outfit is not the cat's meow.



Now on the other hand, Michelle Pfeiffer had it going with her Cat Woman suit.



Go Michelle!

xoox

Rachel Zoe



So can anyone guess who the new "It" girl is, that's right, Rachel Zoe.

I requested a promo pic from The Rachel Zoe camp and since I have no patience, I'm going a head and writing this piece anyways.

Rachel Zoe has made her name by styling celebrities. I first saw Rachel on Project Runway a few years ago where she was a guest judge for an innovation challenge, the designers had to construct a fashionable look made out've trash.

Flash forward to now, she's patiently built her Rachel Zoe empire to households everywhere threw smart marketing, having a savvy sense for fashion, and a plain know how to being succesful.

What makes Rachel unique is her impeccable taste. If anyone watches the show, you know that she loves Chanel and anything French.

Which is where this particular blog came to life.

I was watching this season's, "Rachel Zoe Project" , on Bravo when she unveiled her new collection.

Her whole line was beautiful but there was one piece that stood out, it was the Beaded Sequin Cardigan pictured below.



I love this top because it's very Chanel inspired, leave it to Rachel Zoe to reinvent the classic Chanel look with sequin.

I know I have a great eye for fashion because me and the Neiman Marcus head buyer picked the same top.

And you can't find that top anywhere else except on the Neiman Marcus website, trust me, I checked.

Rachel Zoe is slowing turning the world into cu tour de jour French one cardigan at a time.

Go Rachel.

xoxo

Sunday, September 25, 2011

"Hard Ton" Disco Queer




Hey kittens, I just came back from the Folsom Street Fair and discovered a new talent.

This fierce big disco queen is a cross between Lady Gaga and a bear on crack and she is.

Check out her latest single, "Earthquake" .

You better work!

xoxo

You can also hear more of her music at:

http://www.myspace.com/hardtondiscoqueen

Fashionista Faux Hawk

I love fashion. Even though everyone thinks I'm not fashionable because of the way I dress doesn't mean that I don't follow the latest trends, what's hot, or what's next.

My aesthetic isn't always about clothes. I look for personal expression from a variety of sources, that's where true style comes from.

This blog is more about how personal style makes its way to the masses and making it more appealing the general public.

A couple of years ago I started to notice a bunch of hipster grunge chicks in San Francisco shaving one side of their head and I also noticed it was mostly girls with long hair who were doing it.

Flash forward to this year, I start seeing that same hairstyle for feminine tv advertisements, the only difference was that these girls on the tele who were sporting that same exact hairstyle are prettier and much easier on the eye.

And this is how easily subculture trends make their way to the mainstream.

A good example of someone who makes this faux hawk hairstyle desirable is Anya Ayoung Chee from this season's Project Runway.



Nothing against Anya, she's picture perfect. Anya is a formal Miss Trinidad title holder.

It's gorgeous models like Anya that make the fashionista faux hawk hairstyle appealing to the masses. Which I think is ironic because this hairstyle originated from girls who aren't considered traditionally gorgeous by mainsteam standards.

This is so the way of real fashion, mainstream fashion is so boring they have to keep ripping off unique individuals and try to pan it off as their own.

Whatev's, if that's what they want to do, fine, but at least give credit to the brave chicks who brought this hair movement forward.

xoxo

Friday, September 23, 2011

Whacky Friday

Hey guys!

I just got off work and I'm a little exhausted. I worked a double and my inner thighs are killing me. If you don't what I'm talking about, let me fill you in.

I have really fat thighs so when I walk for long periods at a time, the insides of my thighs rub together and cause hot friction, thus causing swelling and redness.

I've always had that problem for as long I could remember which is why I've always managed to wear down the inside crotch area of my pants, so right now my first impulse is to go sit down on a bad of ice but I don't want to because it'll make me look so crazy.

Anyhoo, I digress.

In other news, it looks like my monthly gay comedy variety show, "The Hella Gay Comedy Show" , is going to be packed out again next month.

The La Estrellita Cafe, where the show is held, probably holds about a 100 people and we've been averaging 60 - 80 people.

As of now, we probably have about 50 audience guest confirmed for the Oct 14th show and that's not including the ticket buyers from Goldstar.

I've really been promoting my show heavily online and tapped into to so many different LGBT groups in the Bay Area, so if you're gay and looking to mingle with other gays, you should definitely come and hang out at my show for Oct 14th, it's going to be fun.

In other news I have a new love interest at work, of course he's Mexican and of course he works in the kitchen. I'm starting to think I'm got a reputation among the line cooks at my work for being easy, I mean it's not like I've fucked any of them, they just probably think I'm really easy to talk to, right right...

This new guy I've been flirting with is so much fun and when I dish it to him he dishes it right back to me, which I like. I think this flirting might be getting out've hand because the other day I caught one of the lady line cooks giving me dirty looks and I was like, "whatever bitch, don't hate the player, hate the game" .

It's been really hot lately in the Bay. I can't wait until the weather cools down so I can start wearing this cute outfit I assembled for the Winter.

A couple of years ago I bought this really bright Salmon colored hoodie from Old Navy and haven't been able to accessorize it properly, mostly because I've been wearing it wrong. Well, I finally found the the right color and clothing combination
so I can't wait to rock it out.

Okay folks, have a wonderful weekend and don't be like me, stay out've trouble!

xoxo

Wednesday, September 21, 2011

Lake Merrit

I love Lake Merritt. I've been jogging around Lake Merritt in Oakland since the 90's!


Cat House

I love cats as much as the next person but if you're spending more than 60K to upgrade your house to make it more, "cat friendly" , then your house cats probably belong outside.

Here are some of the notables that this Japanese home accommodated for their feline friends:

* a cat-accessible loft that features skylights and windows;
* a multistage cube of shelves with cat beds; and
* a floor-to-ceiling scratching post column, wrapped in hemp rope.

Wow, are you serious? How much I do I wanna be a fuckin cat and live in their house.

Here are some pics from their house!

Is anyone else besides me worried about cat poop falling on their head?



Meanwhile their kids, if they have any, are probably locked away in a trunk somewhere.



xoxo

Tuesday, September 20, 2011

Top 10 Clues your Husband is Gay

Okay folks, the Huffington Post just published a blog about how to recognize if your husband is gay.

Here are my top 10 clues from personal experience that your man might be liking cock just a little bit more than you think.

1) His name is Jamiriquai and he's not black.

2) He loves chocolate covered banana's.

3) When he's at church and it's time to pray, he's the first on his knee's.

4) His musical idol is Freddie Mercury.

5) He uses tic tac's to cover his breath from sucking some dude's dick.

6) He likes your fingers up his butt when you're giving him oral.

7) He travels alone frequently.

8) Your man has a high amount of sexual virility.

9) He's okay with threesome's or foursomes with other men.

10) He likes to show off.

more clues

* he's okay with threesome and foursomes with other men
* your dildo sometimes smells like ass
* it's not cute anymore when your husband puts on your panies
* your pussy's is not as satisfying to him as it use to be
* he spends more time in front of the vanity mirror than you do
* his jeans are tighter than yours
* he goes on a "fishing trips" regularly
* he's really into watching football especially when it's not a good game
* your mother in law is surprised he got married in the first place
* his bisexual background is starting to catch up with him
* he loves anything unisex
* his bestfriend's name is Kip

Tre Cohen - Bay Life

Hey all you skank-a-boo's !!!

I have a new love interest and his name is Sam Fuller aka Tre Cohen from his very funny comedy sketch series on youtube called, "Bay Life" . "Bay Life" , is based on Bay Area culture from this area. His character and situations are so spot on that sometimes I forget his comedy sketch series is a parody, yup, it's that good.



You can more of his videos on his website:

http://whizmob.tumblr.com/
http://whizmob.tv
http://twitter.com/whizmob

Sam is so fuck'in hot, jewish too, I love those testosteroni man types!

Does this picture not say, "I'm a total winner" ?



Adorable.



These pic's don't do Sam justice.



Hmmmm? Maybe I like his characters because I know guys like that. haha

Monday, September 19, 2011

Thelma Houston - "DON'T MAKE ME OVER"

Thelma Houston lyrics are soooo appropriate for the current political climate of LGBT's all over the world! xoxo


Chaz Bono



OMG, you better work boyfriend!

Chaz Bono is one of the celebrity dancers on this season's, "Dancing with the Stars" , which is reality dance competition featuring famous American celebrities doing ballroom dances like the Cha Cha or the Ballroom Blitz on National television.

Anyhoo, Mr. Chaz Bono ignited controversy this season as being the first transgendered contestant on the show.

For those of you out of the loop, Chaz is also the son of gay icon - Cher.

Since Chaz let it be known about his participation of the show, he got hit with a bunch of hate blogs from conservative America calling for Chaz's dismissal from the show.

Chaz would probably never say this publicly, so allow me to say this for him: Go fuck yourselves you conservative assholes!

Who the fuck do you think you are to be saying shit like that?

Who are you to judge one person's happiness?

Didn't their mama's teach of them that if they can't say anything nice then to keep that shit to themselves, probably not because their mama's were total cunts, passing their cunty ways onto their children, that's where ignorance comes from.

I love the fact that Chaz is even on the show to begin with, he's bringing more visibility to a part of America's population that is usually vilified or portrayed negatively in the mainstream media.

So kudo's to Chaz, we'll be cheering for you boyfriend!

xoxo

Sunday, September 18, 2011

More Stefan Pinto

Here's one of my favorite cover fitness models - Stefan Pinto.

I like Stephan with long hair, it makes him look more sexier if that's possible.

www.stefanpinto.com

xoxo


Wednesday, September 14, 2011

Taylor Lautner - Breaking Dawn Photos

The New Twilight Movie is coming out and Taylor Lautner is looking ready to do some more scene stealing.

I'm so glad his character, "Jacob" , didn't end up with that crack ho Bella.

I hope Edward sucks that bitches blood bone dry, I hate her.

xoxo


Taylor makes one yummie werewolf!



Taylor makes running look hot.



OMG, is there room for me on the back of the back?

Rainbow Connection

I just want to be a rainbow. ♥


Sunday, September 11, 2011

MeetUp.com and 9/11

Hey everyone, today is 9/11 and what is remembered as one of the worst terrorist attacks on U.S. soil.

It amazes me how many people can remember exactly what they were doing 10 years ago to this day.

Here's one story in particular from the founder of Meetup.com, which is a popular social networking website for social clubs.

I just recently joined one of Meetup.com's social groups and the people there are really nice.

Here's a poignant letter from Meetup.com's founder and how his new social networking website started just days after the 9/11 attack.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Fellow Meetuppers,

I don't write to our whole community often, but this week is
special because it's the 10th anniversary of 9/11 and many
people don't know that Meetup is a 9/11 baby.

Let me tell you the Meetup story. I was living a couple miles
from the Twin Towers, and I was the kind of person who thought
local community doesn't matter much if we've got the internet
and tv. The only time I thought about my neighbors was when I
hoped they wouldn't bother me.

When the towers fell, I found myself talking to more neighbors
in the days after 9/11 than ever before. People said hello to
neighbors (next-door and across the city) who they'd normally
ignore. People were looking after each other, helping each
other, and meeting up with each other. You know, being
neighborly.

A lot of people were thinking that maybe 9/11 could bring
people together in a lasting way. So the idea for Meetup was
born: Could we use the internet to get off the internet -- and
grow local communities?

We didn't know if it would work. Most people thought it was a
crazy idea -- especially because terrorism is designed to make
people distrust one another.

A small team came together, and we launched Meetup 9 months
after 9/11.

Today, almost 10 years and 10 million Meetuppers later, it's
working. Every day, thousands of Meetups happen. Moms Meetups,
Small Business Meetups, Fitness Meetups... a wild variety of
100,000 Meetup Groups with not much in common -- except one
thing.

Every Meetup starts with people simply saying hello to
neighbors. And what often happens next is still amazing to me.
They grow businesses and bands together, they teach and
motivate each other, they babysit each other's kids and find
other ways to work together. They have fun and find solace
together. They make friends and form powerful community. It's
powerful stuff.

It's a wonderful revolution in local community, and it's thanks
to everyone who shows up.

Meetups aren't about 9/11, but they may not be happening if it
weren't for 9/11.

9/11 didn't make us too scared to go outside or talk to
strangers. 9/11 didn't rip us apart. No, we're building new
community together!!!!

The towers fell, but we rise up. And we're just getting started
with these Meetups.

Scott Heiferman (on behalf of 80 people at Meetup HQ)
Co-Founder & CEO, Meetup
New York City
September 2011

Charlie Ballard - Electric Powwow 2011

Saturday, September 10, 2011

The Hella Gay Comedy Show Recap

Hey guys, I've been looking forward to writing this blog since lastnight.

We had another amazing show at the La Estrellita Cafe with the Hella Gay Comedy Show.

For one, we packed it out again which is always nice.

Two, all the performers were amazing.

Mia Bee opened the show with her amazing ukele songs. I just saw her for the very first time at the Brainwash Cafe the night before and I knew immediately she would be a perfect fit for my show.

Tammy Powers was the first stand up of the night. She rocked it with her 3 inch stelleto's and immediately broke down anyone's preconceived notion of what transgendered comedians are like.

Next up was Andrew Roberts, whose a very talented Austrailian comedian and personal favorite of mine even though he was convinced I was trying to turn him out into a stripper from the August show. He told jokes and sang some great songs on his guitar.

I'm very sure no one in the comedy community has ever booked Sweet Gail, she's this old essentric lady who hangs out with us at the open mics. We wrote a nice Children's Story sketch for her that went over well.

Andrew Holgrem and Keith D'Souza definitely turned up the talent pool for the night. Andrew came in and did Gay Jesus while Keith played his comedy Gimp. Watching Keith trying to jokes while wearing a gimp mask was classic.

Tony Lowtops, another transgendered comedian brought the heat with a Micheal Jackson joke medley and can you believe she's only been doing comedy a couple of weeks.

Jon Fink and Frankie Castro did a very daring comedy duo monologue, which was about two straight guys bff's with gay like characteristics, it was very cute.

Roman Leo dropped in a for a quick set and brought the room back. His impression of Robin Williams hand was definitely a crowd pleaser.

I just could not wait for Valeska Ville to perform, she does these amazing song parodies of Sinead O'Connor, Cher, and Shinehead.

Closing out the show was Casey Ley, he did 30 solid minutes of heart felt comedy which at times felt like a one man show. There was a old man in a wheelchair who was gleaming with energy after his set and I asked if the old man felt reinvigorated after Casey's performance and he raised his hands while smiling.

It's amazing what comedy can do sometimes.

Great show everyone!

xoxo

Thursday, September 8, 2011

Week 1 Cycle 3

I'm done with my first week of dieting and I actually lost weight this week.

I know I could've done better and I will do better next week!
xoxo

Wednesday, September 7, 2011

Hella Gay Comedy Show - Sept 9th, 2011

It's that time again.

Come hang out with us and see a fantastic show if you're in the area!

xoxo


Tuesday, September 6, 2011

The Help

Wow, what an incredible movie.

I just finished watching the, "The Help" , and this movie is going to clean up *no pun intended* at the 2012 Oscars.

I wouldn't be surprised if this movie gets Best Movie, Best Actress, Best Supporting Actress, and all the other best awards, it was really that good.

The early civil rights struggle for African American's in the 1960's fuel the emotion and the excellent storyline between the characters and the story.

One of the main themes from this movie was courage and laying the groundwork for a new social era.

At times this movie felt like a fairytale because with all the unjust and racial prejudices affecting the maid characters, you just wished for a happy ending.

Good job!

xoxo

Monday, September 5, 2011

Pacey Williams - KMEL

Here's Pacey Williams getting the dish on Big Sean, a famous rapper whose known for his extra meat.

Pacey is a morning DJ on 106.1 KMEL




Pacey Williams is extrememly funny, check out this video he made on what hes looking for in a guy.

Sunday, September 4, 2011

Jennifer Holiday - Changing

Jennifer Holiday performing at the Oakland Gay Pride Festival 2011.

This song is very personal to me, thank you Jennifer for showing me that people are always given a chance to change for the better.

xoxo


Jennifer Holiday

Jennifer Holiday performing at the Oakland Gay Pride Festival 2011.


Saturday, September 3, 2011

Relationship Status

Here are my current terms and definitions for everyone's relationship status.

1) Single - your by yourself because you haven't quite figured out how to stop acting like your father or mother when you meet people.

2) In a Relationship - This is the Romy and Michelle curse, you're the girl who everyone voted in yearbook most likely to be married by 23 but you're no closer to getting married then scientist finding the cure for cancer, so to save face you use this relationship on facebook until you finally find someone to do your laundry.

3) Engaged - Congrats, you're one of the few people in this world whose actually found another person to co-habitat with but the only problem is that you're both broke and that's you've probably been engaged for the last 5 years because you're both still saving up to pay for a decent wedding.

4) Married - Your 10 years in, you're fat, he's fat, and your kids are fat too.

5) It's Complicated - You're an asshole and the person you've been trying to date on & off for the past 3 years is an asshole too. There are a couple scenarios to this relationship status A) stop going to back to your man or woman who keeps cheating on you B) you're waiting for a husband or wife who will never leave their spouse to be with you because they enjoy your convience C) they don't make dildo's big enough for people like you.

6) I'm in an Open Relationship - I only have one word for people like this, whore.

7) Widowed - This relationship status can either go two ways, "I'm rich Bitch" or "that fucker left me 200,000 in debt" .

8) Separated - But not really, these kinds of people only tell their friends and family they're separated so they can find out who their spouse has been fucking, which is a very clever ploy if you ask me. And really, it's sweet that their spouses gets jealous because it shows after all these years that little love flame still burns between them.

9) Divorced - if you're an available man and you're reading this, email me: funnynative@yahoo.com

10) In a Civil Union - this is a 2nd class relationship term used to describe a gay couple or a really dull straight couple.



Day 3 of Diet

It's day 3 of my diet and I'm holding up pretty good.

I think I got my first sugar/fat withdraw last night because I could just not wait to go home and sleep but then again it was 11pm, so whose not really sleepy by that time?

On my way to work this morning I ate:

1 lunchable snack pack
with turkey, cheddar cheese slices and crackers

1 small cup of oatmeal from Jamba Juice
with cranberries/blueberries, milk, and brown sugar

For lunch I ate:

a house salad with corn salsa, cheese, romaine lettuce,
& 2 oz of steak and oh yes, a heaping amount of Apple Chipotle
Vingerette dressing.

I love love love our Apple Chipotle dressing from work, sometimes I take some to go and use for it dressing at other places in town, it's really that good.

I don't know what I'm going to eat for dinner.

I definitely want some kind've meat *no punt intended* but I'm not sure where and what to eat.

One thing is for sure, that oatmeal I ate this morning made me farty all afternoon. I think one of the line cooks in the kitchen noticed. And when I cut one near the soda machine and I was thankful it wasn't around a cute co-worker because that would've been embarrassing. When I did it, I looked back to see who was behind me, it turned out to to this little shady mexican queen I work with so I was like, "whatev's" .

xoxo

Thursday, September 1, 2011

Funny Restaurant Names


I got this is in an email and had to blog it!




















Weight Loss Challenge - Cycle 3

I love calling this Weight Loss Challenge Cycle 3 because it sounds gay and it's also in reference to the reality show, "America's Next Top Model" .

I'm sure there will be more cycles down the road if I lose the weight and gain it back. And that's not me being a pessimist, that's me being a realist.

I'm trying to change and develop some good habits so I can avoid being a see-saw dieter.

Today is my first day of dieting and so far I'm doing pretty good.

I just ate a nice salad from Chipotle grill and now it's time to snack on some fruit.

I hopped on the scale this morning and it read, "OMFG" !

I'm being dramatic but still my weight was up there.

It wasn't as bad as I thought it was going to be but let's just say I'm thankful it wasn't too outrageous.

Have you guy noticed I haven't said what my starting weight is?

I probably might tell you guys later on but not right now.

This time it's going to be different.

I'm definitely going to be doing my weight challenge a little different this time meaning I won't be checking in regularly on facebook and I certainly will have a different attitude about dieting this time. This time my diet mojo is going to be all about me me me me me me !!!

For my last weight loss challenge, I was under some serious stress and losing weight was the last thing on my mind. I wish I could blog about that stress but some things are best left unsaid, at least for the time being.

I had my last junk food binge last night so I won't be missing the grease anytime soon.

Okay guys, happy dieting!

xoxo