Saturday, February 4, 2012

Mr. Happy

I'm supposed to be taking a break from blogging but this idea has been cruising around in my brain for the past couple of days and has been wanting to come out, so here it goes.

Lately on Facebook, I've been giving away free, "Lady Toys" , to all my girlfriends on Facebook. Not personally I mean. I know some of you are thinking, "eww, you mean washing your old toys off and them sending them off" , uh no.

I have a friend who works for Jimmy Jane Adult Toys, which is based here in San Francisco and he gets the hook up on free toys. Of course he never uses the free perk for himself so gives a lot of the store merchandise away to his friends.

So me being the person I am, of course I had to jump on the chance and see if any of my girlfriends needed a, "Lady Stress Reliever" .

So far, more than a handful of my Facebook friends have been hooked up, anonymously of course.

I have to say with all the Mr. Happy's that he sent out, I'm a little jealous that I don't have a vagina so I could use one on myself, more directly a clitoris.

Because I was born a man in this life, I will never know the joy of being able to stimulate my hot cookie with a love iron. : (

I mean I guess I could massage my anus with a vibrator but I know it would not be the same, for one it would look awkward and secondly, I would probably get really tired of having to reach around every time, not fun.

However, because I am in touch with my body, I do have pleasure points, and I know exactly how to use them.

For instance, my G-Spot is at the bottom of my feet, crazy huh.

I never knew this until I spent an afternoon on a massage foot machine at the Santa Monica Pier in Los Angeles, California.

On a comedy outing with my mom, we had some down time and spent the afternoon checking out Venice Beach. We love doing the tourist thing and walked around as much as we could.

After having walked around for so long, we needed a break, and viola, there it was, these pulsating foot massage machines that operated on quarters.

The foot massage machines were pleasantly placed outside a vendor shop, they were bulky looking, with these two big metals plates resting at the bottom of the machine.

When I hopped on and put my quarters in, the sudden vibrations sent a whizzing chill of amusement through my feet until it inspired my body to burst out with a big chuckle.

After I let my uncontrollable laugh out, my mom who was on the foot machine next to me and just looked at me crazy like, "whats wrong with you" ?

I'm very sure I wasn't sexually turned out by the foot massage machines but I can see if this pulsating vibration button was just set a little higher in the body, I probably would have died on that machine, in a good way of course.

OMG, over the next couple of years on my trips to L.A. , I was always sure to visit the Santa Monica Pier and on one fateful trip, the foot vibrating machines were no longer there. : (

Logically any sensible person would seek out a portable machine so they could copy that feeling and recreate it again and again but I decided not to.

After all, I know what kind of addictive personality I have and have other vices I'm trying to get over like chocolate.


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