Do or Die

I just came back from the clinic and the doctor tried to put me on a low dose of high blood pressure pills, fuck that.

I'm too young to even start thinking of taking those kinds of meds so I declined.

My blood pressure was pretty high today and I'm sure the the doctor didn't take into account the reason why it was high was because I took a bike ride up the hill to deposit my check and get my brothers beer.  And then I told the doctor my schizophrenic brother made bacon this morning and didn't open the windows/doors to let the smoke out, which really irritates me when he does that.

What I didn't like was how determined the Doctor was trying to get me on meds.  I made it clear to her when my hyper-tension and anxiety was diagnosed back in December, I declined the use of the meds back then and got threw it.  And then it just seemed like whatever I said to her she just turned it around and used it against me.  I pretty sure I got matched with a bad doctor today.

The other thing I didn't like was when she said its been 3 months since my high blood pressure was diagnosed and my weight still hasn't come down.  Thats great but I didn't know I was on a timeline to get better.  And really my weight didn't start to begin skyrocketing until the end of last Summer.

She recommended to see the clinic nutritionist and I already know what they're going to say, to stop eating fast foods and drinking soda. I've stopped drinking soda again this month, so theres a plus.

I weighed in at 291, which has been the same since December.  I've been running around the lake so much I guess I've guess I've countering it with all the binge eating I've been doing afterwards.  For some reason, my brain still thinks I have the same metabolism when I was 20.

I kept telling the doctor after taking my anit-biotics this past week, I was feeling a lot better.  My breathing got better and the tightness went away.  And I said I'm sure whatever respiratory illness I was going thru, was contributing to my anxiety and hyper-tension too.

My goal for the next two months is to really watch what I eat, drink lots of water, stay on my exercising kick and lose weight.

My heart has been really good to me so now its time for me to start taking better care of my heart, I choose life.

xoxo