Friday, July 19, 2013

Why are you yawning?

Whenever I perform stand up comedy, it always irks me whenever I see people yawning during my set.  It makes me feel like I'm putting those fuckers to sleep or they're implying I'm some kind of energy Vampire draining their energy from them.

That totally use to bother me until I saw Margaret Cho perform at the Irvine Improv earlier this year and I caught people in the audience doing that shit to her.  Right away I thought, "you guys can't be her fans because her fans would never do that shit to her" , how fuckin rude right?

And then it dawned on me that these people yawning at her shows aren't her fans at all.  They're probably some psychology majors from the local college doing a Margaret Cho paper on feminism and comedy. And yes by that you can assume they were 20 something white girls who didn't get most of her jokes because I mean hello we were in Irvine, which is the capitol of conservatism in Southern California.  But whatev's.

Margaret's main base audience has always been the Gays or really really straight liberal people who enjoy anal sex, I don't know, I'm guessing?

I really hate to say I'm attracted to Margaret Cho because I'm Gay but the coincidences are uncanny.

I remember sitting front row at the Zipper Theater in NYC and watching Margaret perform a burlesque dance routine during her Sensuous Woman Tour and I nudged my best friend saying, "this is so gay" .  And you know what, Margaret heard me and let out a smile.

Margaret Cho is fucking Gay.  Margaret Cho is so fucking Gay that when she quiefs, a Gay angel is born.  Margaret Cho is so gay shes a Gay Dog whistle that only we can hear.  Margaret Cho is so Gay we're going to put her in sainthood: St. Margaret and shes going to be our patron Saint of cock.  Thats how fucking Gay she is and we love her for it.

A while back a friend said to me that when a person yawns you're just helping them release their energy.  What a crock of shit.  The next time I see a person yawning at one of my show I'm just going to be like, "can I get you a pillow" ?

xoxo




1 comment:

  1. damn white irvine bitches! and i know, i'm from tustin - the little city right next door. they didn't deserve margaret (or you) in their city, haha. irvine sucks, especially when you're brown (unless you're middle eastern with money, they like that).

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