Friday, June 13, 2014

Good Advice or Bad Advice ???

My favorite sex columnist, Dan Savage, is at it again, this time a young woman whose graduating from High School is wondering if she should pursue a love interest!  Heres what she wrote in and my response it at the bottom after Dan's!
I am currently a senior in high school, but come Saturday, I will be a high-school grad! (Fuck yeah!) The only thing I'm worried about besides my hopes and dreams, and making it in the real world? My sex life. I'm a virgin. When I go online, I see all my friends and peers having these crazy, awesome, smoking-hot sex lives. I am obsessed with this guy in my class. Like all teenage-girl crushes, I can't get him out of my head. I could spot him on the other side of campus in all his tank-top-wearing, soccer-playing glory. I've been sitting in class all day thinking about all the sex we will probably never have. I want to know if it would be weird for me to ask him to hook up at a post-graduation party? I don't care if my first time is with someone "special," I just feel like if I don't say something to him now, I'll never get a chance to have sex at all, with anyone, ever.
Does It Get Sexier?
Heres what Dan wrote in:
First, DIGS, some research shows a link between time spent on social media and depression. The issue seems to be people comparing what they know of their own lives—which are complicated, messy, and sometimes painful—with the idealized portrait others create of their own lives on Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, etc. Remember: While your friends may appear to have crazy, awesome, fun-filled lives on Facebook, their actual lived reality likely includes as many sads and fails as your life does.
Something else to bear in mind: Teenagers are waiting longer to have sex, according to the Guttmacher Institute, and nearly 40 percent of 18-year-olds of both sexes are not yet sexually active. So you are not a freak, DIGS. All of your friends and peers may tell you they're sexually active—or their Facebook and Instagram posts may imply that they're sexually active—but the data tells us (and I'm telling you) that some of your friends are liars.
Finally, DIGS, this boy is not the last boy on earth. You will have other chances to have sex, with other people, lots. But I think you should make a pass at this boy—if not for the sexual experience, then for the experience of making the pass itself. Make it an honest, straightforward, and explicit pass. ("I've had such a crush on you, and this is crazy, but fuck me maybe?") If he's interested, tell him you're a virgin, tell him condoms are required, and tell him you'd rather do it sober or soberish. If he's not interested, well, that'll suck. You'll have to wait a bit longer for your first sexual experience, DIGS, but you'll have an opportunity to practice handling rejection with grace ("Well, I still think you're a great guy, and I hope things won't be awkward between us") and you'll see that rejection isn't the end of the world—or the end of boys, either. Good luck!

Now heres what I had to say:

I say go for it! That was my High School graduation present to myself too! Whatever Dan just said above, ignore it. Hes talking to you like you're a complicated 30 year old woman with tons of baggage. These are the moments and experiences that will change your life forever and shape how you deal with men in the future. If you're going to be sexually active, at least use a rubber and lots of lube. Most likely whatever boy you're chasing won't know how to bang a virgin so its probably going to hurt. Welcome to adulthood and making bad decisions! p.s. thats how we grow as people, we learn from our mistakes!

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