Monday, January 5, 2015

Dieting & Men

Like a million other people, my New Years Resolution for 2015 is to lose weight.

This is how my diet started for 2015.

For the past couple months, I've been rapping to this cute Mexican guy in Fishermans Wharf who works in an outdoor cafe.

Most of you guys know I'm a tour guide in San Francisco, so on my breaks I'll usually head over to his food stand to get a corn dog and get my flirt on.

Last week, I went over to his booth and told him that hes not going to be seeing me as much because I'll be dieting for 2015.

To be honest, I really don't think he gave a fuck.

So the New Years rolls by and I decide to avoid his area all together.

Yesterday I got really snacky and wanted a cheeseburger, so I headed to the near by Jack in the Box and guess who I see standing in line, thats right, the cute Mexican guy.

And guess what was the first thing he said to me, "I thought you were dieting" .

So to save face, I ordered a salad and a bottle of water.

And just to keep up with appearances, I asked the counter girl to give me any fat free dressing.

And then, my dream comes true, I totally end up having lunch with him.

I notice he ordered a lot of food and he's all, "do you want one of my tacos" ??

And I was like, "muthafucka, you just called me out in front of everyone, what do you think" ?

But secretly I kept thinking to myself, "I want all of your tacos" .

We we're sitting chopping it up and then he blurts out, "so why are you trying to lose weight anyways" , and I was like, "I'm tired of dating Black guys" .

Just when things were about to get good my break ends but I'm smart, I managed to get
his instagram account.

So let the stalking begin.


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