Saturday, November 29, 2014

Journeys & Friendships

Bizarre, is the only word I can describe for all the relationships I've had with people who've passed in and out of my life.

I really think people are territorial and they will only befriend you if a particular person is or isn't in your life.

For instance, when I was at Haskell, I made friends with this girl named Crystal back in 98.  Later she revealed to me that she did not like the person I was in 97.  She quite in fact hated me and then I was like, "well, if you hated me so much, why did you start coming around and being my friend" ?

In the Spring of 1997, that was my return to Haskell and I had my bestie Jade with me, we rocked Haskell and the City of Lawrence every way we could, on the volleyball court, on the dance floor at Granada and at the plasma center behind McDonald's.  (my point being, we had fun wherever we went)

So when Jade left, thats when Crystal started coming around. (and thats when the boring years began)

That damn Jade had to go back to the Southwest, leaving me in Kansas to fend to for myself.  I was forced to hang out with people who I would not normally hang out with or associate with.  I kept telling myself this that I would have to hang with these people in order to survive the Haskell social system and ultimately get that paper.  

Later, I did reveal to Crystal above that she wasn't my first choice of friends either, I only talked to her because she was friends with Sybil, another gal who eventually gave me grief with her own antics.

Fortunately for me, I never kept to one particular group of people or one type of friend.

Even at Haskell, I kept getting the reputation of, "knowing a lot of people" , when really all I was doing was saying hi to people.

Oh, I am going somewhere with this. (getting there)

This whole thing with switching friends, the coming and going of people, really took its toll on me.

It really made me lonely.

Another friend, Regina Charles, clued me in that it was going to be like this for kids of the Native boarding school system.

I remember her saying, "I'm know we're not going to see it each other later and I'm already going to miss you" .

That really set me up not to keep people to close to me at all because when its time to leave, its easier to go without all the attached feelings.

And so, even today, I'm still going thru my transitions with people, when one relationship ends, somehow other person know when its time to comes into my life and fill that void.

Whenever I post a blog, message, a photo on my Facebook and it gets, "LIKED" , I get to see all of those people who've I've journeyed with in my life, even from some who keep low profiles and say nothing (yes, I see you)

And on days like that, it makes me happy, and it makes me less lonely.


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