Sunday, September 30, 2012

Adam Levine loves me


When I look for inspiration, I don't have to look very far. Most of my inspiration comes from Native people and I am very fortunate to have so many Native friends on facebook where I'm allowed to gloss over their fabulous pictures, so heres what I've been looking at lately, enjoy!

Margaret Cho - Sensuous Woman

In 2007, while in NYC for a comedy outing, we had some down time and caught Margaret's, "Sensuous Woman" , comedy tour off Broadway. I think it was the Zip Theater? Anyhoo, me and my bestie Wesley had a great time and wouldn't you know Wesley got to meet Margaret after the show and if I remember correctly, Juicely said, "oh, I'm just starstruck" , and MC responded back, "oh thank you, and oh my, I just love your teeth, they're so white" .

And yes, her teeth are that fabulously white, go girl!

Saturday, September 29, 2012

"Pussy is the New Asshole ... "

and thats how she found me!

This evening while I was working on some new meme's for, this lady approached me on facebook for a line I said earlier this month at Margaret Cho's new comedy show, "Mother" , at the Terry Factor Theater - Mirage Hotel in Las Vegas, Nevada., no biggie right, so heres the dialogue on how this conversation transpired:

"Heard you in Vegas @ Margaret Cho " Pussy is the new asshole" your awesome!! Hope you except my friend request" - Tricia

OMG, are you serious? Thats so awesome!

"I sat three rows behind you! That's great !! Thank you for the great laughs that night and have retold it MANY times ...hugs" - Tricia

And I was like, how did you know that was me? 

"I googled Margaret Cho pussys the new asshole and there you were.  Haha thanks and just love your blogs" - Tricia

Needless to say I was completely dumbfounded and thankful. I am very grateful for anything that I said which resonated enough for one person to google and search me out!  That just goes to show that someone is always listening whether you think they are or not.

So we'll see if Margaret does decide to incorporate this line into her new act and if she does, thats completely fine with me.  I sent her a twitter message saying she could have it, so we'll see if she records it for her new woman show, "Mother" , or not.

And honestly, I thought somebody was going to search me out for another line I recently said at a gay bathhouse while in a dark room having anonymous sex with other gay men and I belt out, "who didn't wash their stinky boy pussy" ?

I'll let you guys know if someone steps forward on that one, thanks Tricia!!


p.s. heres the blog link I wrote a couple weeks ago about the fun we had in Las Vegas with Margaret Cho & Gotye, its titled, "Genius" .

Credit Card Fraud

One of my banks just called me today to confirm some suspicious activity on my account, apparently I've been buying kati rolls somewhere in India.

So this afternoon I ended up cancelling that card.  I have no idea how these theives got a hold of my card # but I'm sure they could probably do it again, so fuck it, I just ended up cancelling it.

And besides, I only kept that card to try to accumulate points for a free flight with Southwest Airlines, which I did.

And whats strange, I got this freak phone call from a mysterious phone # right after I cancelled my card, its like whoever was using my card was calling to confirm to my card was cancelled.

I'll back track and say its my fault for giving away my email online to these junk websites because thats really the only way these guys could have caught me.

It looks like I'll be having to change my home # and personal email because its all associated with my home address, which isn't too hard to find if you type in my name online.

I really hate to change both because I've had them for so long but oh well, always got to stay one step a head right?



Friday, September 28, 2012

Native American Comedian

Margaret Cho can you hear me ??

just kidding, I don't care if Margaret can hear me, I just needed a catchy title for this blog.

As most of you who've been following my blogs, I've been unemployed since June.  Yup, I got fired from my waiting job of 8 years, over what? For giving a solicited opinion on a new kiosk that the stores no longer carry, ain't that some shit.  When I apply for future jobs and go into interviews, I'm going to tell all of them I was wrongfully terminated because the management who fired me couldn't give a specific reason for firing me, which is why the state of California awarded me unemployment.  I'm tired of being of on unemployment and I'm ready to go back to work, so now the search begins.

This past week I've been looking very hard for a new job and nothing. I'm beginning to think all my new job prospectors are checking out my blogs and are saying, "fuck this bitch" , which is fine because if I'm not free to express myself on my blogs, then where am I to? These are some of the jobs I've been applying for.

1) Huffington Post *Gay Voices*
I've been wanting to blog for these guys for a while but I'm beginning to think my writing is too progressive for them. I sent them my ideas and I haven't heard anything. I think they're they not interested in me because I represent a very small demographic in the American population, which is the American Indian population. We literally are the 1% of the 99%.

2) Craigslist 
Now this one I want because their office is right in downtown San Francisco. I probably won't get this job because I pitched them this line in my cover letter, "I love using your website to find jobs, post events, and look for the casual encounter" . TMI?

3) TMZ 
Harvey, the owner of TMZ was recently advertising on Twitter for people to skype in for their TMZ tv show on current issues, so ... I skype in on the topic of Kate Middleton, you know, where an European magazine is going to publish photos of her topless, so I said, "she should know better then to take her top off in priviate or in publice because they know they're always going to be in the public eye" . And then to show the TMZ crew and their audience it really isn't a big deal showing your boobs, I proceeded to lift my shirt and flash my man boobies to the Skype audiences.

So, as you guys can see, I've been striking out to my own detriment. I hope this doesn't keep up, I need a jobby job soon. xoxo

Sunday, September 23, 2012

Pomp Pomp Pompador !!!

I'm going to rock my new Pompador tomorrow for the Folsom Street fair and I can't decide whether to go Miley pompador or Pink pompador? Hmmmmmmm?

Friday, September 14, 2012

Gotye @ House of Blues - Las Vegas, NV.

Gotye at the House of Blues - Mandalay Hotel & Casino, Las Vegas, Nevada.
September 7, 2012.

Thursday, September 13, 2012


These past couple of weeks I've been on a short fuse and I've been letting a lot of various issues get to me that I wouldn't normally let get to me.

I have much to be happy and thankful for so this blog is a reminder to myself not to trip over the small stuff.

Do you guys know what I think it is, I think its because I haven't drank soda since the 1st of the month and I think I'm still withdrawing from all the caffeine in my system.

Its a good thing I don't drink coffee because I know everybody would hate to be around me if I didn't have it in the morning.

What I'm most proud of so far this month is how I've stayed away soda, even on my last trip to Las Vegas I stuck to water, juice, and fruit punch.

Its important for me to get my priorities together because it makes me feel like I'm in charge of my will power again. I know other people who do this, they'll indulge in their vices for a while and then stop just to prove to themselves that they're still in control.

Does this mean I'll be deleting any of my last blogs, hellz no. I still feel that way but today I'm more calm about it.

I've been hitting the comedy open mics this week and started working on my next act. I have a brand new journal and will be performing nothing but new and current material, I mean after all, I have a reputation to keep up, right right. haha

Anyhoo, have a great week everyone, I'm loving the month of September, so far this month has been about getting my shit back in gear and being back on track.


Wednesday, September 12, 2012

F-U-C-K Y-O-U !!!

I have come to the inevitable conclusion that I will never get props from any of my comedy peers, mostly because I'm not White, I'm not straight, I don't drink, I don't do drugs, I don't listen to the same fuckin music as them, and certainly because I'm not a brown noser.

I keep hearing about this new comedy wave that happened in San Francisco from 2000 to 2008 and my name is no where to be mentioned.

I started in 2003 with a lot of these, "new wave" , comedians that broke thru and got tv spots and those comedians are no funnier then I am. The only difference, back then the local comedy clubs, ie the Punchline and Cobb's gave those comedians more stage time, gigs, pats on the back, and for all the reasons above which lead to more opportunities to them.

Where did this leave me? I had to fight for everything I have today, when nobody wrote about me, when I didn't have a manager, when nobody gave a rats ass what I was doing, thats when I took matter into my own hands and put myself out there. I mean c'mon, whose fooling who? And yet I still keep proving my skills to these dipshits time again and again at the open mics in the Bay Area.

And unlike them, I can walk anywhere in the Bay Area comedy scene and elsewhere because I know that I made my own name, not some red headed bitch who thinks she knows comedy because shes been putting a line up together for the past 15 years, bitch please.

Point being, I don't need their validation to feel like I'm a great comic, I know I'm a great comic because I've proved it. You guys may not see me on tv right now but that doesn't mean I'm not as good as my counterparts, it means that I'm better and that my time is coming.

If I'm never mentioned with any of these people, thats fine. I know what I can do, they know what I can do, and all the people who like my comedy know what I can do.

So they and anyone else who thinks I'm shit can kiss my mutha-fuckin ass.


Monday, September 10, 2012

Cerebral Comedy Night Recap

A big thanks to all the comedians who performed in Cerebral Comedy Show last night, heres a quick run down of how it went down.

Tammy Powers did a great job hosting our evenings festivities, not bad for her first time hosting.

Duat Mai is one of a kind, his zaniness makes me hot.

Zorba Hughes brought his ferocity and the crowd was loving him for that.

Rebecca Arthur was brilliant as always with her dead pan humor.

Samson Koletkar was the audience favorite of the evening, they demanded more stage time from him and got their wish.

Matt Gubser was a joy to have on the show along with his undying witt.

Leslie Small did a great job bringing the energy, one word describes Leslie's comedy - firecracker.

William Head got the crowd reving with his brilliant rants.

And last but not least, our wonderful headliner Aundre The Wonder Woman subdued the entire building with her magnificent opening song. The Deco Lounge regulars usually get pretty rowdy at the end because the Amateur strip show starts immediately after our show but when they all heard her voice, they all shut their pie holes.

Thanks everyone!



Hey guys, just got back from Las Vegas and I had a great time.

Right now its 2:00am and I'm very sleepy. I'm going to try and get thru this blog without taking short cuts so here we go.

On Wednesday, I arrived in Vegas. Got checked into the Luxor and headed over to the Circus Circus Casino for Gay Bingo. Gay Bingo was really fun, I got to meet a bunch of locals and enjoy mini cupcakes everytime they called 0-69.

Afterwards, I got trigger happy and decided to gamble on the penny slots at the Cosmopolitan Hotel and Casino, which did not up well. Thats when I found out that the penny slots in Vegas don't pay shit compared to the Indian Casino's who pay generously on their penny slots. And this happened consistently at all the big hotel casinos in Vegas, point being, don't gamble your money in Vegas because their machines are set tight, instead keep supporting Indian Gaming.

Thursday was good because the Margaret Cho stand up comedy concert was happening at the Terry Factor Theater in the Mirage Hotel and Casino. Margaret was the whole reason why I booked the trip to Vegas in the first place. Shes basically in the beginning of her new stand up comedy tour called, "Mother" , and I went so I could see her show in progress before she shits the Bay Area. I've seen all of her tours and this show was 50% new and 50% old. When Margaret did her new stuff, it killed.

What surprised me about Margaret was how involved she was with her crowd, her crowd work skills were excellent. While she was talking to the crowd, she asked if there were any bi's in the audience and no one responded. So in my nelliest voice, thats when I said, "hey girl, I'm Bi" !!! Margaret called me out right away and she said, "bitch please" .

I think Margaret was intrigued by my audience participation so she kept soliciting a response from me.

And whats funny, she was only going by the sound of my voice and couldn't see who feeding her these lines. I think thats when she knew I was bullshitting her so she began to question my bisexuality and tried to draw me into one of her rigged comedy questions, which basically meant that no matter which answer I gave her, she had a clever response just waiting. She then asked me which sex I prefer and then I blurted out, "pussy is the new asshole" .

That sent Margaret into a frenzy and then she belted out a big laugh. She also said my line was genius. I know I gave her a good line because not only did it make the entire audience laugh but it also made her laugh too. Its always been my dream to make Margaret laugh and it happened right in front of 2,000 Margaret Cho fans.

So that was our Thursday. Afterward we went over the Garage to meet up with Wesleys friend and wouldn't you know, I also ran into some queens from gay bingo night.

Friday was good, we slept in all day and when we woke up, we got something to eat.

Our plans for Friday was to attend the Las Vegas Pride stage so we could see Margaret Cho, Joan Rivers, and Kathy Griffin make an appearance together.

We could only stay at the Las Vegas Pride March for so long because we had to music concert tickets to go see Gotye at the House of Blues in the Mandalay Bay Hotel and Casino.

Gotye's concert started at 9pm but he didn't go until 11:00pm. We got there around 10:00pm thinking we were late, we kind of were considering all of the people we had to push thru to get to the front.

I was really impressed with Gotye, he really is a true musical genius. While he was on stage, he played about 20 different instruments in his act. My only problem, I really wanted to hear him sing more.

Gotye was going to sing a love ballad called, "Broken" , but decided not to because those fuckers in the bar area were being too loud. You could tell this song is very personal to him and that if this song didn't get the proper respect it deserved, then he wasn't going to sing it.

After discarding that song, Gotye went right into the song everyone knows him for, "Somebody That I Used to Know" . I think we all knew Kimba wasn't going to be there but guess what, all the women in the crowd picked up her lyrics and sang her part in unison, it was actually quite beautiful and it made Gotye smile big.

I'm so glad we got to see Gotye because that night was totally unplanned, I didn't even know he was going to be in Vegas. I just happen to be walking by the House of Blues and boom, I was like, "I'm going for it" . And of course, when I get home he performed tonight at the Fox Theater in Oakland, California.

After the Gotye concert, we managed to stop by the Share nightclub on Wynn Street. I really liked the Share, it doubles as a gay strip bar/gay disco tech. ChiChi LaRue was spinning and hosting her Stripper Circus theme party that night and there were lots of hot gay guys running around, all I can say, it was a really cute crowd.

And oh yes, this queen also came up to me and said she saw me performing comedy in Orlando during Gay Days. I thought that was really nice to hear so I gave him a big hug.

Saturday was chill, the folks from Peach Springs finally arrived and we kicked it on Fremont Street for a bit, which meant more useless gambling on penny slots and deep fried twinkies. Afterward we went to the Fruit Loop and chilled at the Free Zone night club.

So that leads us to today, Sunday. I flew into SFO around 5:00pm and went straight the Deco Lounge for, "Cerebral Comedy Night" . We had a great show and I want to thank all the comedians who came out and performed.

Alright guys, its time to start kicking ass and lose some weight!


Tuesday, September 4, 2012


"is this because I'm a bitch wife who nags at you" - from Sex in the City 2.

I just thought I'd start off with something random. Right now I'm watching Sex in the City 2 and Mr. Big just hit Carrie with the 2 day agreement where he proposed that the both of them are allowed 2 days a week out of their marriage to spend however they want. And of course Carrie throws a fit because shes views this as a sign her marriage is crumbling, so she asks Mr. Big the question above and to answer Carrie's question, yes.

Moving on.

Its September 4th and I'll be taking off to Las Vegas in a couple days for Gay Days 2012. Most of you guys who have been following me on facebook are probably asking yourselves, "didn't this bitch already go to Gay Days in Orlando, Florida" , and yes, yes I did.

I didn't plan on going to Gay Days Las Vegas, originally I bought tickets to see Margaret Cho and planned my Vegas trip around that. As I investigated further, I found out that Margaret was scheduled to perform the same week as Gay Days Vegas.

So I guess Las Vegas will be the place to be this week and I could care less. I'm going to relax and eat at some wonderful buffets. I'll probably even spend most of my time in the hotel swimming pool. Of course I'll be attending the gay events but none of its going to be a priority with me.

My bestie will be joining me so I'm totally prepared to have a great time. My other friend from Oakland will be in Vegas this week. We're all supposed to hook up for a VIP event later this week. That would be cool if it does happen so we'll see how things pan out.

In other news I just finished my blue journal so now its time for me to start writing a new act. This next time around I'm going to concentrate on writing clean.

Alright guys, have a great week!


Sunday, September 2, 2012

Skinny Perez Hilton

OMG, go Perez! Perez has been working extra hard on his weight loss lately and he looks amazing!

Congrats to the Queen of web Gossip!

Perez looks so good I would almost be willing to let him top me but lets not get too carried away.