Sunday, December 30, 2012

Moving forward ...

Its the 2nd to the last day of the 2012 and my changes are starting, the first one is how I will be conducting myself on facebook.

If anyone thinks Facebook hasn't become a major part of their lives, they're lying.

In the past 5 years of being a celebrity Native American stand up comedian on facebook, I've been an open & closed book, trying to build a positive support network of family, friends, and fans.

In the beginning, my facebook profile was open and anyone could see what I was posting.  My online privacy didn't start to bother until I started receiving messages about my post, it wasn't so much the feedback I was getting back but what disturbed me the most was that I didn't know who was viewing my content.

So in an effort to be more socially responsible, I closed off my profile and if anybody wanted to read my stuff, all they had to do was send me a friendship request and not leave shitty comments on my page.

I told myself a long time ago when I reach a 1000 facebook friends that I would open my page back up to the public and tonight thats what I did.

In doing do, it was really hard for me to delete the 3000 photos, 1500 status updates, 200 pages that I liked, 50 videos and other odd shit I've been collecting on my page for the past 5 years.

If anyone is unhappy with the way I changed my page, they can always, "unlike" , me.

Because my facebook page is now open to the public, I will be keeping it less personal and more business.

The really sad thing about my new business page is that I don't have a feed to all my facebook friends anymore, so now I don't know whats going on with everyone.  And if you ask me, thats great because the less I know, the less stress I have, something of which I've been dealing with a lot lately.

I can't explain to you guys the weight that has been lifted, it was a good change.


Idle No More

Right now theres an International movement among Native peoples happening called, "Idle No More" .

This idea started as a movement to protest Canadian legislation - Bill C 45, that would take away land & water rights of the First Nations people of Canada.

Since then this movement began, it has spawned many Round Dance Flashmobs demonstrations in the malls of Canada, United States and in different countries all over the world.

Chief Theresa Spence also began a personal fasting protest demanding a meeting with the Prime Minister of Canada, the Crown, and National Canadian legislators to begin dialogue with the First Nations over these issues. She is camped out across the river from the Canadian parliament and so far her requests have fallen on deaf ears.  As of late, Chief Theresa is into her 20th day of fasting and is getting weaker.

Doesn't Stephen Harper, the Prime Minister of Canada hear us?

What the people in the world have soon to realize is that again, these issues don't just affect us, they affect everyone.

"Idle No More began with four ladies; Nina Wilson, Sylvia McAdam, Jessica Gordon & Sheelah McLean who felt it was urgent to act on current and upcoming legislation that not only affects our First Nations people but the rest of Canada's citizens, lands and waters.  The focus is on grassroots voices, treaty and sovereignty, it began in the early part of October when discussing Bill C 45.  All 4 women knew that this was a time to act, as this bill and other proposed legislation would affect not only Indigenous people but also the lands, water and the rest of Canada.
With the focus on the most urgent bill knowing it would initiate attention to all other legislation, the 4 ladies held rallies and teach-ins to generate discussion and provide information. They then decided a nation wide event was garnered so all could participate, thus, The National Day of Solidarity & Resurgence was called for December 10th, 2012, to oppose all legislation and to build solidarity while asserting inherent rights and nationhood while protecting our lands for all people.

These colonial forms of legislation that the government expects to unilaterally impose on us has brought us together, to stand together" -
Jessica Gordon 

                                       Chief Theresa Spence

My 2012 Year in Review

Lets see, in the beginning of 2012, I challenged myself to lose weight because me and Wesley planned a trip to visit Gay Days in Orlando, Florida., and I wanted to look my best.  This trip ended up being half vacation and half work, I got a chance to perform several places while we were there, visiting the blue beaches of South Miami was memorable.

I blogged about my weight losing efforts and looking back on, its pretty sad.  In one of my blogs I noted that I felt pretty skinny at 272.  By the time our trip rolled around in May my weight was about the same, needless to say I was pretty disappointed. 

The power of junk food has a pretty strong hold over me.  So much so, my weight as of today is 292.  I know, I can't believe it either.  I skyrocketed up another 20 lbs.  And whats worse is that I've been running consistently for the past 4 months, 3x's a week and I'm still overweight.  I looked at my activity calendar and I ran 10 months out of this year. I was so bummed to learn about my new weight that I ordered pizza and drank a coca cola. So now its binge time until time the New Year.

On January 1st for 2013, I'll hit the grind again.  I got cast in a movie later this Spring and I told the director I would lose weight for the role.  I don't think it was an issue for him but for me it definitely was.  You know, there are so many professional actors who can drop and gain weight for movie roles and the fact they have so much will power to do so amazes me.

Halfway thru the year I lost my restaurant job of 8 years.  I was pretty bummed about it because of the way I left.  Losing that job was a blessing in disguise, I was in the Food & Bev for too long and I worked for awful people.  When you work at a job with high turnover rate, you really can expect anything from them because they consider you expendable.

Since then I've been on unemployment and have been enjoying it.

The main thing that has changed since losing my job have been my sleeping patterns, because I don't work in the afternoon anymore, I go to bed @ 7am and wake up @ 6pm.  As soon my unemployment ends, everything will go back to normal so I'm just trying to enjoy my break from working.

In July I went on a road trip with my mom.  We flew to Michigan to buy her brothers truck and drove it back to Michigan.  That was a great road trip, we drove thru, Illinois, Wisconsin, Minnesota, South Dakota, Wyoming, Idaho, Nevada, and then back home into Cali.  Along the way we got to visit Wounded Knee, the Badlands, see free range Buffalo roaming in the Black Hills and Yellowstone Park, see Old Faithful, and visit some friends in Fort Hall, Idaho for their Sho/Ban Powwow, which my mom really enjoyed.

That was busy traveling time for me because an old friend came into town and we ended up driving to Southern Cali to visit Kathy Peltier and check out Disneyland.

The week after that I had a gig at the University of Illinois and then a week after that, I planned a trip to Las Vegas to see Margaret Cho perform on the strip.

This past Fall, its been challenging to travel considering I didn't have a job to pay for my expenses.  My main focus for this year was to get out of debt and I accomplished that twice.  I knew what I was getting myself into and planned well.  I can't believe I'm ending this year which extra spending money in my checking account.

Since April, I moved the Hella Gay Comedy Shows to San Francisco and we had another successful run, which prompted me to keep it going into 2013.

In December of this year, my nerves got the best of me and my stress gave into an anxiety attack.  Right now I'm still dealing with that and feel myself getting better everyday.  I never really knew how long I was living with anxiety until I looked up because I've been experiencing anxious symptoms since I can remember.  I guess I've been in denial about it the whole time.

I didn't have any love interest this year. I'm friends with plenty of hot straight guys but none of those fuckers have asked me for a blowjob, thanks for nothing guys.  For me, giving blowjob isn't love but its a start.

Besides the Hella Gay shows and the doing the movie, I really don't know whats going to happen for 2013.

I'm going to keep praying for good things, hope for the best, and stop tripping over stupid shit.


Saturday, December 29, 2012

2013 New Year Resolutions

New Year Resolutions for 2013:

1) Seduce at least 20 straight guys.

2) Start prepping for 2014 Playmate of the Year.

3) Stop dating Black guys named Django.

4) Teach a kegel class on how to keep your ass tight.

5) Bring back the jerri curl.

6) Stop trading blow jobs for a burrito. 

7Change my name to Beyone Ballard.

8) stop getting so easily offended by stupid ass muthf*ckers

9) stop vogue-ing at McDonalds after I eat a Big Mac.

10) start giving a fuck what people think, not.

Thursday, December 27, 2012

Oh Blimey - These Dreams

Oh my, I must be on a talent discovery bend because I found this little lady last night at the Dirty Trix in SF.

Introducing to all my readers, this is rap sensation - Oh Blimey.

Shes a local rapper from the Yay Area!

Definitely check her out, shes legit.


Wednesday, December 26, 2012


Every now and then a very talented music artist will come along and change the rap game. Thank goodness Macklemore has a crossover rap hit, "Thriftshop" , playing continuously on the radio right now because otherwise they would have flew under my radar. There was a lyric in that song that caught my interest, it was the line where he identifies as being White, which threw me for a loop because after listening to the song for so long, I thought he was Black.

Anyhoo, after listening to his and Ryan Lewis's independent youtube channel:

it turns out theres more to these guys than meets the eye.

Macklemore is basically changing the rap game like bringing back all that is righteous to rap such as producing a pro-rap song about same sex in "Same Love" , calling out other rappers who use drugs and sell out to the mainstream machine in their song, "Other Side" .

Macklemore and Ryan Lewis are a much needed breath of fresh air to a dying genre, I can't wait to see them in concert.



Fuck You Anxiety

I'm pretty sure my anxiety has gotten worse since I was a little kid, I just didn't know how bad it was until recently.

I've been on the web researching anxiety and my mind was just blown on the symptoms I've been suffering because of it.

Before I get into my personal bout with anxiety, here are some treatable methods without the use of chemically altering state drugs which I strongly advocate against:
 - running
- yoga *physical*
- meditation *mental*
- no caffeine
- blogging
-psycho therapy

But thats just me, if your chemical inbalance is so out of whack that you need a quick fix, then by all means use medical marajuana or prozac to ail your symptons.

Oh shit, where to begin.  When I researched anxiety the first sympton that caught my eye were body jolts, which I've been experiencing since I was a little kid.

The earliest I can remember is at the age of 12, laying down to sleep and having the feeling of sudden jolt wake me from sleep.

I hate to play the finger pointing game but I knew exactly where those nerves came from that night.  Growing up, my brother and I use to keep score in a bowling league.  We enjoyed it because we were bowlers and plus, the bowlers from the adult league use to tip us for keeping score.

While keeping score on an adult league night, an older Native gentlemen gutter balled an easy shot and I remember sticking out my hand for a high five as to say, "no big deal, get em next time" , and wouldn't you know it that fucker walked right by me.  I was torn about that.  These days as an adult, when you give another guy a high five and they dis, its understandable why its considered an insult

I grew up bowling and there was so much tension associated with that sport its no wonder why I quit.  The only thing I regret about it was not letting myself fall in love with one of my youth bowling league teammates, he was so fine.  To this day I still think about him.  Long story short, we went on a youth bowling trip and he made a move on me, I was just too scared to do anything with him. I really regret that because I know he was supposed to be my first love.

I probably didn't learn how to start relaxing until I was 14 and thats when I began attending Sherman Indian High School.  Sherman was probably the best thing for me because I honestly didn't know how stressed I was.  While at Sherman, I remember some Pima boys making fun of me because of the way I walked.  They were like, "check him out, he walks crazy" .  Of course I didn't know what the fuck they were talking about until I passed by some mirrors and they were right.  When I looked at the window reflections, I saw myself hunched over on my toes with this weird rocking rhythm, knodding my head back and forth like angry chicken.  Needless to say, I changed my walk after that.  These days my walk is upright, shoulders pointed forward with my arms swaying side to side, simply put, with grace. I copied that walk from an Apache girl I admired.

Another big change in my anxiety came from a fear of flying which I never had before.  Growing up, I use to love to flying and the turbulence never bothered me at all.  That all changed at 18, I remember staying up all night washing clothes while still in college. I was on my way back to home and didn't get one wink of sleep that night.  On the plane I could feel every bump on the way home which kept me wide awake.  These days I can barely stand any kind of turbulence and appreciate a smooth ride.

Back in 1996 I use to grind my teeth because we were having home issues and I feared that were going to end up on the streets. Grinding teeth is a really bad symptom, the rescuers from 9/11 grinded their teeth so bad many of them lost their teeth because the tension from that event was still with them.

Flash forward to December 17, 2012.  I come home from a Bathhouse and I couldn't sleep for shit, whats worse is that I'm sweating in my sleep with a dry throat.  All of these things were symptoms of anxiety.

When I checked my myself into the ER a couple of days ago my blood pressure was extremely high, it came down considerably when the nurse and doctor diagnosed me with anxiety and depression.  They asked if I experienced a recent traumatic event, which I did. *read previous blog*

I'm a firm believer that we're all in control of our bodies, which is why my blood pressure came down because I was like, "oh, so I'm not dying" .  I felt a little embarrassed because I took an ER bed from someone who probably needed it, so I checked myself out as soon as I calmed down.

Today really does feel like a new day, I've been in the dark about my illness my whole entire life, not paying attention to the symptoms and warnings.

I will say that because I sobered up a while back, I do use some of these tools above for wellness like jogging, meditating, no soda, and of course, blogging.

I just have to learn at the end of the day not to let shit get to me.


Monday, December 24, 2012


This past couple of weeks I could my feel my spirit guides and other forces calling for me to be tested.

But tested how?  Spiritually, mentally, physically?  I suppose when the creator sends our tests, they come in any shape or form depending on what our lesson(s) is.

Me, being the confrontational person I am, I closed my eyes and said to my spirit guides, "bring it" .

So these past couple of weeks the Creator sent me some pretty daunting challenges, some easy, and some not so easy.

The first major one I can think of was when we were driving to Gilroy a couple weeks ago and a car flipped over, I pulled over and helped that guy out of his car.  So for me, that felt like a courage test.  When I was driving, I asked myself , "do I want to pull over or keep driving and do nothing" .  Obviously, I pulled over and let my courage take over.

My next test was to see if I still had compassion.  I knew this because last night when I was coming back from the Punchline in San Francisco, I stopped by Jack in the Box to get a burger and hanging right outside was a schizophrenic homeless lady panhandling.  She asked me if I could help her and I said yes.  So I went inside and bought her a combo meal.  After I gave it to her, my last words to her were, "stay warm" .

This last test started happening last week.  Last Sunday I went to a Bathhouse for anonymous gay sex and the next morning I woke up in a sweat, which was not normal for me.  Usually when I konk out, I'm out and won't wake up until 3pm but I've waking up in sweats the whole week and then the color of my bowel movements have been off all week too.

My first thoughts was that I must of contracted something at the Bathhouse.  I just saw in the Bay Area News group that theres been a Meningitis outbreak among Gay men in San Francisco and thats what was going thru my head, that and the other usual fears from hanging out in a bathhouse like contracting AIDS, gonorrhea, syphilis.  So this morning, enough was enough and I went to the ER at Highland Hospital in Oakland and checked myself in.

I got there about 5:AM and didn't leave until 10:AM.  My doctor and nurses were great.  The triage nurse was great too.  I told the triage nurse what my symptoms were and she asked if there was a current life event that I could be stressing about.  I was too embarrassed to mention the Bathhouse incident earlier in the week but I eventually came around because I knew it was time to be real, after all, this is my health that we're talking about.

To make a long story short, the doctor confirmed what the triage nurse said, all these symptoms were stress related, causing high anxiety.  I guess I was over thinking the issue about contracting HIV, meningitis, and that fucking Mayan Apocalypse event that was supposed to happen this week too, so then my cute Jewish doctor gave me a nice comfort rub on my arm and popped me a chill pill, which didn't work as well as it should considering I was really strung out.

When I entered the ER this morning, my blood pressure was 176, which is pretty frickin high.  So after they talked me down, gave me my pill, my blood pressure came back down to 110.  It amazing what the brain can do to your body when its under duress.

They offered to draw blood and check everything, which I agreed to and all my blood work came back fine, hopefully I can put this behind me and move forward.

I really can't say why I let any of these events get to me this past week.  I use to go to Bathhouse/sex clubs in the 90's and did a whole lot worse but never have a panic attack like I did this past week

There was one thing the cute Jewish Doctor said to me, he asked me if suffer from depression and anxiety.  Again, I didn't want to answer but I said yes.

I've been depressed since high school and my anxiety didn't start kicking in until19 when I had Bell's Palsy from suffering a mild stroke while attending school in New Mexico.

I have always refused to go see a therapist and take any kind of, "happy pill" , medications because I knew I could beat these things with my mind.

I am 38 years old and for the rest of my life I have a feeling I'm to be fighting to keep my mental health stable, which is fine because thats what it feels like I've been doing for the past 20 years anyways.

If anything with me being a stand up comedian, I'm looking forward to working out some of these issues on stage sometime soon.  My audiences get an endorphin release when I make them laugh but I too get an endorphin release watching them giggle and knowing I had something to do with that.

Alright ya'll, take care you's because I will definitely be taking care of me's !!!


p.s. update - after writing this blog, my sleeping habits went back to normal and I feel so much better, so in a way, venting out my issues in a blog has helped me a lot.


Friday, December 21, 2012

1000 Blogs

Hey everybody, this is officially the 1000th blog I've written for  Well really, I've written more than a 1000 blogs including the blogs from old myspace account but since I've stuck with this blogging interface since December of 2009, I've really enjoyed it.

Back in 2009 I got this weird feeling to start duplicating all my blogs from myspace because I knew things were going to change and I was right, eventually discontinued my last account with them and I lost all those blogs.

To date, I've had to two myspace accounts and with my first account, I was smart enough to print those first blogs which I hold in a binder somewhere in my house.

Maybe I'll turn those first blogs into a book later down the road, I don't know just yet.  My writing was better then too, it was definitely more uninhibited.

At any rate, thanks again to everyone for helping me reach another milestone.

Here are my current blog hit stats.

Pageviews today
Pageviews yesterday
Pageviews last month
Pageviews all time history


Friday, December 14, 2012

My Christmas Card

Hey guys, heres my Christmas Card to everyone, continued blessings and Happy Holidays!


Good Gay vs. Bad Gay

In Anishnabe culture, they say the good and bad live within us all and we are whichever we feed the most, so heres my breakdown:

I'm a bad gay because I don't:
1) tap dance
2) sing
3) do hair
4) I'm not skinny
5) watch Glee *not entirely true*
6) work at Bloomingdales
7) adore Lady Gaga
8) lisp
9) not athletic
10) not attracted to other gay guys.

I'm a good gay because:
1) I'm real
2) I speak my mind
3) I love to snack
4) I think of others before myself
5) I'm nice
6) I invented the bend & snap move
7) I don't let negative shit weigh me down
8) I live my life
9) I don't take bullshit from the straight boys
10) and lastly because I love. ♥

Thursday, December 13, 2012


Tonight I felt like a total hero and heres how it went down.

I asked my ma if she wanted to tag along to Gilroy, California., which is about 70 miles South of Oakland for a comedy gig and just as we pulled into Highway 101 from the Nimitz freeway, I noticed a car spin out in front of us, swerve to the left, roll over, hit the embankment, and land upside down.  For a quick second, we thought the car went completely over the guard rail because it flipped over pretty high.

I was driving so I immediately slowed down, pulled over, got out of our truck and went to see if they were okay.  Some other cars pulled over too but I was the first one to the scene.

You can tell everyone who pulled over was in shock because none of them approached the car as fast as I did, they all stood around calling the police on their cellphones.

As I approached the car, I yelled out, "are you okay" , and heard a response, it was a mans voice who said, "I'm okay but get me out of here" .

So then I immediately started tugging at the backdoor and it wouldn't budge, I managed to open it enough to see a small man inside crawl from the front of the turned over car to the back.  As I peered in with disbelief I said, "were you wearing your seatbelt" , and he said, "yeah" .

I wasn't strong enough to open the fiber glass door by myself because apart of it was nudged into the dirt pretty well, thats when another person came over and helped me crack it open.

We opened it enough for the little Mexican man inside to crawl out.  He managed to wobble 5 steps before another onlooker said to stay down until the paramedics arrived.

Fortunately there wasn't anyone else in the car and remarkably he wasn't harmed or maimed in anyway because he was wearing his seat belt.  To me, that was amazing because I can still see the steering wheel and the dashboard completely totaled, if anything the guy was only shaken up a bit.

In First Aid, they taught us if we arrive at the scene of a horrific car crash, we're supposed to leave them as we found them until the paramedics get there.

I suppose I could have left him in his car but he wanted out and thats what I responded to.

Also, to the other onlookers I was like, "hey, its probably a good idea to have him wait not near his car, just in case it catches fire or something" , so then they walked him over 20ft away from his car.

There really wasn't much else for us to do so it was time to leave.  I wasn't leaving him there by himself, there were several of people who pulled over to keep the guy company until help arrived, so then I grabbed his shoulder and said, "it was nice to see you made it out of this okay" , he didn't respond back, he just continued to look at the ground and shake his head, I just smiled at him, thats when we got in our truck and continued onto Gilroy for my gig.


Tuesday, December 11, 2012

Back in the day ...

Late night writing, enjoy.


1) Back in the day: Freddie Mercury was one piece of hot ass.

2) Back in the day: Jesus was known as just, "J" .

3) Back in the day: Bread cost nickel but gonorrhea was still free.

4) Back in the day: Instead of saying, "back in the day" , people use to say, "way back when" .

5) Back in the day: the only color on a black & white television was the contrast button.

6) Back in the day: was hella a lot harder than it is for todays generations, be grateful.

7) Back in the day: people smoked less weed.

8) Back in the day: Dinosaurs were the shit.

9) Back in the day: Freddie Mercury's, "We Will Rock You" , song was the original, "Holla Back Girl" .

10) Back in the day: If I knew then what I know now, I would have taken tap class more seriously.

Monday, December 10, 2012

Millionaire Desperation

When it comes to dating, the only difference between the single & rich and the single & poor, is that the rich have more resources when actively looking for intimate partners.

For instance, there are elite dating services such as Patty Stanger's, "Millionaire Matchmaker" , and other private dating clubs where bachelors shell out thousands of dollars in hopes of finding a mate.

For the single & poor, we have Craigslist,,, and other low cost accessible social dating websites.

But those lines quickly vanish when desperate millionaires such as Marc Paskin pay thousands of dollars to advertise for dates on a freeway billboard in the San Diego area.

For God sakes man, buy a hooker already.

This billboard dating ad doesn't come across as sincere at all, I see no punch words for the kind of lady hes looking for like, "fun, charming, smart, interesting, unique, attractive ....." , omg, I can keep going for days on this but no, the only specific word Marc chooses is that she must be Latina, fuck everything else.

So because Marc only cares that his holiday girlfriend be Latina, I've taken it upon myself to match him up, age appropriate of course, with one of my favorite Latina personalities from Bravo's tv show, "Flipping Out" , Zoila:

Go Zoila, get that money!


Sunday, December 9, 2012

My blog really is different.

Tonight I was cruising around some other peoples personal blogs online and after reading them, it felt like I've been missing out on life.

I came across this one blog where this guy wrote about how he proposed to his wife, which was really sweet and left a tear in my eye.

Oh fuck, why hasn't that happen to me yet?

So until that day happens, heres a fake love-letter blog from my future husband on how he would propose to me, enjoy.


Damn that Charlie Ballard is a hard woman to please but I love him so much.  We've been dating for a couple years now and it seems a little ridiculous for me to even ask Charlie for his hand in marriage because it feels like we're already married.

I picked Valentines Day to propose because thats the holiday we had our very first date on.  I'll never forget that night, I was so nervous.  I was in my last year of Law School and kept thinking about my final exams thru out the whole date, but damn if Charlie's smile kept making me forget about everything.  I honestly can't remember what we talked about, oh wait yes I can, Charlie kept antagonizing me about the merits of being a good lawyer and not one of these, "good for nothing corporate lawyers scumbags who don't give a damn about anything except for making money" , you have to admit, Charlie does have a way with words which is why I ended up being a non-profit attorney, pun intended.

I've never known Charlie to wear jewelry but he did mention once how he adored his late Grandmothers gold ban so thats what I gave him.  On the inside its engraved, "I love you no matter what", because thats we've professed to each other, time and time again.

I kept thinking about how could I make this marriage proposal perfect, maybe in a fancy restaurant somewhere off the blue shores of Thailand or maybe in a small chateau in France, but no, I couldn't think of a better place to do it in than in our own home here in Laguna Beach on date night.

I didn't want to chance messing up this special occasion with trying to cook so I ordered out - Italian.  

The weather was perfect and we couldn't of asked for a better sunset.

Right before we toasted and asked each other how our day went, thats when I got down on one knee, popped the question and will always remember that moment as being the best day of my life.


I know after reading this blog some of you guys are going to be like, "oh this bitch is kray kray ... " , and you know what, I'm okay with that.


Saturday, December 8, 2012

Hella Gay All Stars Comedy Show Review

The Hella Gay Comedy Show is officially on hiatus until next year! 
A Big Thank You to everyone in 2012 for making our shows happen! Tonight was our last Hella Gay Comedy Show of the year which featured the cream of the crop from this past year.  It was a really tough decision to pick tonights line up because we had so many great performances from all of our shows.
Big props to all of our Hella Gay All Stars for 2012 - Eloisa Bravo Clare O'Kane Kate Willett Loren Kraut Sandra M Risser Tammy Powers Shanti Charan Casey Ley Charles Orenthal James Patterson
A big thank you to Rena from for giving us great promotion all year, to all of our lovely venues - The Deco Lounge, 50 Mason Social House, Rebel, and the Stage Werx Theater for hosting our shows, to Lina Blanco for consistently making our Hella Gay flyers fabulous, to Andrew Moore for being the best house photographer anyone could ask for, to all of our performers, I could not do have done these shows without you guys and lastly, thank you thank you thank you to all the wonderful audiences who came out to support us!
What I'm proud of most from our shows, our performers just didn't give our audiences great memories, they gave them, "experiences" , which can only be described as over the top, avante garde, provocative and fun! 

However much energy I put into producing these shows, it was all worth it, this past year truly was a labor of love! 

Back in April we started with the Best from 2011 and tonight, we ended with the Best from 2012.


Friday, December 7, 2012

Life of Pi Movie Review

Tonight was weird because I really didn't have a plan.

After hitting an open mic at the Stork Club I wondered into downtown Oakland only to discover Burger King's 55 cent deal for a whopper was only good for the original whopper and not their new Wisconsin Burger, boo.

After getting rejected and buying some back up cinnebons', I decided to head out to SF to catch a movie, not knowing what I was going to watch, it just felt like a movie night.

On the BART ride over from Oakland to SF, my mind began to drift, as it usually does, and all of sudden I began having these overwhelming thoughts about religion, philosophy, and my own personal beliefs.

My last drifting thought on that tangent was having blind faith

So you guys can imagine the surprise when I arrived inside the Centre Theaters at Bloomingdales, bought a ticket to see, "Life of Pi" , and listened to the movies first 20 minutes of theology dialogue and was completely blown away at myself for not buying a whopper earlier, just kidding.

Hehe ... no but seriously, I did think it was strange that I was having these deep provocative soul searching thoughts and then happen to wonder into a movie that asked these same type of questions.  I really didn't know what to expect watching this movie because I never read the book, I just thought this movie was going to be about a tiger, a boy, and his boat.  The wonderful storyline with great depth really was a welcoming surprise.

For one, I can say at the age of being 38 most of my own spiritual foundation has already been layed and I could have answered most of the questions Pi's father was throwing him in the beginning of the movie but it also struck me as disheartening to know how some parents manipulate their kids point of views with their own politics, which was very evident in Pi's father conversations to him.

I suppose we all have to believe in something and mostly likely I would not have the convictions I do today if my dad was around to raise to me, and if he were, that still doesn't mean he would've been right.

Expect Ang Lee's, "Life of Pi" , to be a serious Oscar contender this March.  The visuals in this movie were absolutely stunning, it'll definitely be up for Best Director, Best Picture, and Best Art Direction, Best Cinematography, and Best Actor.

Good job Ang but we're all still waiting for the sequels to, "Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon" .


Monday, December 3, 2012

Bunky Echo Hawk

One of my favorite contemporary Native American artists out right now is Bunky Echo Hawk.  He's a Pawnee from Pawnee, Oklahoma.  His work has been featured far and wide, heres one of his latest pieces that caught my eye.


Lucy the Litigator by Bunky Echo Hawk

Why won't you fuck me?

Which is what I always ask myself when I see the other guy comedians around San Francisco.  I know all of them are straight but statically theres a chance a couple of them could be curious.

I've been doing comedy in the Bay Area for 10 years and not once has another guy comedian asked me to fuck him, I mean gah, I haven't even been felt up or offered whiskey dick.

Its not that I want to whore around with any of the guys in the SF Comedy scene, it just hurts my ego to have them think I'm not available.

When I began serial dating a long time, this lady gave me some advice, she said, "if you want to increase your dating prospects then you need to join a club, a gym, or be socially active" , and she was totally right because if I were a straight woman doing comedy I would have been totally fucked by now, I know this because a lot of them are getting their freak on.

I take that back, in 2005 I did get hit on by this cute straight comedian.  We were coming back from a gig in San Mateo and he put his hand on my leg and said, "I think I might be gay" .

Unfortunately we had a 3rd passenger in the car otherwise he would of got a bjay on the freeway right then and there.

Whats weird about that, our friendship was never the same after that.  He eventually went on to get married and become fat.  I knew I should have went for the kill.

There was another comedian who gave me a ride home once and I flat out asked him, "why won't you fuck me, do you think I'm ugly" ? And he said, "no, its because I have AIDS" .  I looked him in dead in the eye and said, "thats fucked up, if you don't want to fuck me, then you should say you don't want to fuck me, you don't have to lie to my face and say you have AIDS" , and thats when I found out he really had AIDS.

"Well how about a hand-job then" ?  Of course we didn't have sex, we ended up talking about his status for the rest of the night and to this day, we have become great friends.


Sunday, December 2, 2012

Charlie Ballard Facebook Updates

I got some late night writing in, enjoy.

- White people are really good at playing Monopoly because they've been playing Manifest Destiny for the past 500 years.

- Its a cultural thing when you're playing monopoly with somebody who lands on the utility bill and says, "we can do without this month"

In the new version of Monopoly Native Americans with Casinos own half of the properties on the board.

- I hate playing monopoly with people who land in jail and then intentionally not bail themselves out because they're waiting for time served.

- Attention straight guys, if we're playing monopoly and you intentionally buy Baltic Ave because you're planning on bankrolling everyone with your hotels, you're not getting fucked.

- That awkward moment in your A.A. group when everybody in your circle knows you're going to talk about anal sex.

- If anyone would have told me 20 years ago that I'd performing comedy in the same bar where I use to give handjobs, I would have aimed higher.

- In a room full of bottoms, I hate being the manliest guy in the room.

- Lesbians fuckin love Bruce Springsteen, I went to his concert and it was a sea of David Hasslehoff haircuts and sweater vests everywhere.

- I'm not shallow, its just that all the cute guys I'm attracted to don't have a lick of salt in their brains.     

Saturday, December 1, 2012

Griffin Marc does Whitney Houton

Actor/Singer Griffin Marc and his mad lip sync skills to Whitney Houston.


Creative Cupcakes

I found these on the web, enjoy!


World AIDS Day

December 1st is World AIDS Day.

Did you know:

 - 34 Million people worldwide are living with AIDS, the vast majority are in low- and middle-income countries. An estimated 2.5 million people were newly infected with the virus in 2011.

- About 25 million people have died to date. 

- An estimated 1.7 million people died of HIV/AIDS in 2011.

- In the United States, 1 in 5 people are living with HIV.

- Every 9.5 minutes in the U.S. someone is getting infected with HIV.


HIV, the virus that causes AIDS, has affected us all, I've personally lost friends and family to this disease.

There is still much stigma associated with AIDS, mostly because people aren't educated on how this disease is spread or how to prevent it.

For more info, start with the basic's!

There is hope, until a cure is discovered, people diagnosed with HIV are living longer with medications.

And don't forget to get tested, knowing is power.


Who Wore It Better ??

Taylor Lautner or Zach Effron, "Some Dudes Marry Dudes. Get Over It"   .



Bruce Springsteen - Wrecking Ball Tour

Wow, I seriously got rocked tonight by Bruce Springsteen at the Oakland Oracle Arena.

Bruce knows how to put on a show, hes pure Rock N'Roll.  He started his set @ 8:30pm and we left @ 11:00pm to avoid the traffic and he was still going strong.  You can really tell he enjoys he what he does.

Bruce had some great highlights in his concert, he gave a moment of silence for all of our loved ones past which was very moving.  Of all the music legends I've seen at the Oracle, Bruce is the only one I've seen with a real musical arc, he really did take his crowd on a cathartic journey.

Tonight he took a few request from the crowd based on their signage, this lady wrote on her sign, "Dance with a Hungarian Girl" ,  and she got her wish, that was soooooo supposed to be my Courtney Cox moment.

His crowd was mostly composed of middle aged White people and amazingly, all of them were still standing on their feet for most of the show, I thought for sure half of his crowd would have killed over after the first hour but definitely not, they came to rock out!

Bruce's music is a mixture of Scottish Celtic, Pop, Gospel, and good old fashioned rock n'roll.

Unfortunately we didn't get hear, "Born in the USA" , "Dancing in the Dark" , "Glory Days" , because we left early but I'm sure he played them in his encore.

Good job Bruce!