Monday, July 29, 2013

Meant to be?

Around 2001, in my last years of college, sometimes I would head over to Allen Fieldhouse in Lawrence, Kansas., to watch the KU Mens Basketball team play on opening night.

On one particular evening, I just happen to be on the lower concourse and as they were about to take the court, of course me being me, I definitely took the time to check out the entire team along with the other rampid teenage groupies hanging about.

It was pretty cool seeing the players up close which is really all I wanted to experience. And thats when it happened, I caught one of the KU Mens Basketball players checking me out.  He couldn't take his eyes off me and literally had a hard time pulling his eyes away from me before it was time for him to head out.

Now heres the fucked up part.  I'm pretty sure he was definitely more into me than I was into him.  I only caught his glimpse because by the time he caught my attention, I was already done checking out the rest of the team and I gave him a look back because he was the only one left.  So it makes me wonder if I caught his eye because I was basically checking all his teammates out and not him.  Whatever it was, our eye connection was pretty deep.

Usually when I check out men with non-verbal communication, I make eye contact and make sure they see my eyes drift towards their crotch area, just to let him know I'm interested.

With this guy, it was all eye contact and no crotch checking.

And after that night, nothing.  I continued on with my life at Haskell, graduated, and came back home to Cali to become a stand up comedian.

Flash forward to the NBA lock out of 2011, on their down time several NBA players were in town for a charity event and while I was working at Chevys in San Francisco, guess who should just happen to stop by in my restaurant and sit in my section, yup, that same guy.

His party sat on the other side of the bar and thank goodness the bartender was helping them because I really didn't want to wait on him.

But in the back of my head I really wanted to know if we still had the same connection.

So I purposely wiped a table near to see if he was checking me out and he was, he already had his eyes locked on me.  So this time I was sure to give him a smile and short gaze like, "do you remember me" ?

And that was that.  He finished and walked out with his girlfriend.

I guess I could have went over and said hi but who am I to ruin serendipity.


Sunday, July 28, 2013

Project Runway Season 12 Ep.2

This week the designers were challenged to create a look to be matched with millionaire dollar jewels.  To date, this really has been the most exquisite challenge yet in any season.

Lets start with this weeks winner - Katie Pankoke, she knocked it out of the ball park with this sensational A-symmetrical pastel gown.  Katie has definitely put herself as the early front runner and showed everyone she came to play but will she be able to sustain?

I really loved Bradon McDonald's design.  Silver is a favorite color of mine and his design looks super fabulous on his model and to be honest, I'm not even paying attention to her jewels.

Self taught designer Ken Laurence could have easily won this weeks challenge if his jewelry was emerald.  An emerald necklace would have accentuated this dress very nicely or vice versa, the color is beautiful.

Oh boyfriend, the PR judges said Sandro Masmanidi designs were borderline, "chic or stripper" .  True but I have to say his designs are the most exciting!  Out of everyone, I can't wait to see what hes going to do next. With the skirt bunching up in the front, which may either be intentional or not, he definitely could have played with that more and maybe put some pleats in there.

I'm sad to say the designer who I thought should have went home this week is Eco Self Sustaining Designer - Timothy Westbrook.  Did he really put a razor back on the front of his dress? And also, was that really the best he could have done with Zach Posen's recycled velvet fabric?  Yup, instead of buying new fabric, Timothy sifted the throw away fabrics at Mood and found velvet donated by Zach Posen.  This challenge really could have put Timothy on the map, he could have taken a famous designers throw-a-away fabric, turned it around, and said, "here, look what I just did your toss out" !!  His concept is great but poorly executed.  I can definitely see his methods work for a more skilled designer. Also, with the velvet, I probably would have went with a Audrey Hepburn inspired design, with maybe a cocktail dress and matching gloves that would have showcased her jewelry better but thats just me.  But at least his model got to wear hair & make up this week. : )

Monday, July 22, 2013

Charlie Ballard the Psychic

My life changed when I turned 19.  I was going thru severe depression and just having a hard time adjusting to life after high school.  While talking to a bowling teammate, they mentioned the Berkeley Psychic Institute, a place where they gave readings to the public for a modest price.  I was excited because I always enjoyed psychic readings, they're mystical, mysterious, and always entertaining.

When I scheduled my first appointment with them I noticed a weird coincidence, in my daily horoscope it said, "secrets would be revealed" , and boy were they, in a nut shell I can't explain how my reading went but they made me like I wasn't crazy because it was just me being psychic.

This was my first experience with the occult.  They wanted me to take classes with them because basically thats how they pay their bills.  Thank god I'm a major cheap ass and decided to learn it for myself and thats what I did, I spent many afternoons reading books on mediums, psychic healing, and whatever else I could get my hands on.

I can't really say I'm one of those talented professional psychics like the Long Island Medium or John Edwards so my talent has always been that I'm good with energy especially when it comes to dealing with people.  So to make a long story short, if I see something about people I don't like, I don't fuck with them.

I use to give my friends readings but stopped because the novelty of being a psychic soon wore off.

The one thing that has always been true about psychics is that we can always spot each other out.  For me, its more than just looking at someones aura, some empaths wear it so obvious about them how can anyone not see it, I guess it must be thing that we can only see amongst ourselves.  Its kind of like, when you meet one, you've met them all.

And I'm pretty sure my gifts were passed down from my family.  Some of my family members use to read tea leaves back in the day.

If some of you guys are asking yourselves, "do you use your intuitiveness for comedy" , yes I do.  I use it especially when I doing improv or being off the cuff, its mostly just going with my instincts or being in the moment.

One thing my intuitiveness has allowed me is to have deep meaning friendships with many people, all of which I'm sure we've known each other in past lives.

I bring up the whole psychic business because it makes me think if I'm so damn psychic why haven't I been able to find a boyfriend?


Friday, July 19, 2013

Project Runway Season 12 Ep.1

Okay fashionista's, its that time of the year for me to start acting like I know shit about fashion when I really don't. Thats right, its Season 12 of Project Runway on Lifetime television!

I know some of you will be reading my Project Runway fashion blogs and will be like, "and what makes you an authority on fashion" ?  Well, back in college I did cut a pair of shorts and hem them very nicely all by myself.

And back in college I did help one of my homegirls with droopy titty's find a nice elastic bra that gave her support and made her look like she had a rack when she really didn't.  Yes bitches, I'm that good.

Okay, enough about my qualifications.  Lets get to the business at hand!

Did anyone see the series premiere of Project Runway Season 12 last night?

For the season premiere, the contestants first competition was an innovation challenge, they had to create a look made from parachute material.

Normally I blog about the top 3 of the show but since fashion is objective, I'm going to post about who I like and what caught my eye because isn't that what this is really about?

Coming back from last season, is spitfire fan favorite Kate Pankoke.  Here she dazzles us with a canary yellow cocktail dress.  I love it and you could tell she loves this color too because she basically threw her body at the yellow parachute material to nab this fabric from the other designers.

The dress that totally caught my eye was from Sue Waller, the placement of her rouching and draping techniques was seriously off the chain, she took a couple standard sewing techniques and made it look super chic.  The color palette of her dress wasn't bad either.

Santino is that you?  Already this seasons over the top designer belongs to Russian designer Sandro Masmanidi, a former model and cancer survivor.  He definitely has the swag to back up his over the top design aesthetic. Even though Project Runway resident judge Nina Garcia and the rest of America just about gagged when his model came down the runway showing her meat curtains in his bathing suit, he detail signature sewing technique was impeccable.  If he can hold back just a little, expect some pretty fabulous clothes coming from this man for the rest of the season and hes my first pick to be a top #3 finalist.  If he doesn't make the cut, I'm sure Donatella Versace has a nice job waiting for him in her empire.

I love, I love, I love Timothy Westbrook.  Hes this seasons Eco designer, which means he won't be creating looks with products, chemicals, or fabrics that are harmful to the environment.  Which basically means his model will be foregoing hair/makeup/shoes for the rest of the season unless he can find other solutions.  Kudos to Timothy for reinventing fashion by showing us not what we want but what we need.  And oh yeah, his model thru a hissy fit because she didn't get dolled up like the other models, I hope he trades that bitch out for somebody else.  Nina Garcia had the funny line of the night when Timothy came out wearing star studded pumps and she said, "Timothy, did you steal your models shoes" ?

Why are you yawning?

Whenever I perform stand up comedy, it always irks me whenever I see people yawning during my set.  It makes me feel like I'm putting those fuckers to sleep or they're implying I'm some kind of energy Vampire draining their energy from them.

That totally use to bother me until I saw Margaret Cho perform at the Irvine Improv earlier this year and I caught people in the audience doing that shit to her.  Right away I thought, "you guys can't be her fans because her fans would never do that shit to her" , how fuckin rude right?

And then it dawned on me that these people yawning at her shows aren't her fans at all.  They're probably some psychology majors from the local college doing a Margaret Cho paper on feminism and comedy. And yes by that you can assume they were 20 something white girls who didn't get most of her jokes because I mean hello we were in Irvine, which is the capitol of conservatism in Southern California.  But whatev's.

Margaret's main base audience has always been the Gays or really really straight liberal people who enjoy anal sex, I don't know, I'm guessing?

I really hate to say I'm attracted to Margaret Cho because I'm Gay but the coincidences are uncanny.

I remember sitting front row at the Zipper Theater in NYC and watching Margaret perform a burlesque dance routine during her Sensuous Woman Tour and I nudged my best friend saying, "this is so gay" .  And you know what, Margaret heard me and let out a smile.

Margaret Cho is fucking Gay.  Margaret Cho is so fucking Gay that when she quiefs, a Gay angel is born.  Margaret Cho is so gay shes a Gay Dog whistle that only we can hear.  Margaret Cho is so Gay we're going to put her in sainthood: St. Margaret and shes going to be our patron Saint of cock.  Thats how fucking Gay she is and we love her for it.

A while back a friend said to me that when a person yawns you're just helping them release their energy.  What a crock of shit.  The next time I see a person yawning at one of my show I'm just going to be like, "can I get you a pillow" ?


Tuesday, July 16, 2013

200,000 Blog Hits !! Thank You !

This week my blog will have reached another milestone, 200,000 blog hits !!!

Thats pretty amazing considering I haven't blogged as much this past year and most of the traffic I've been getting of late has been coming from older blogs.

This year I was taking it easy, especially where my health is concerned, so I decided to scale back.

And honestly, I will admit most of the content I've been putting up over the years was more or less for the sole purpose of trying to generate blog hits from the public via pictures of half naked men and celebrity gossip.

Somewhere along the way I totally lost sight of it all.  Meaning, I sold out my creative and unique blog writing skills for cheap photos that I knew would get me hits and for the most part, it worked.

This next time around its going to be different.  I really do enjoy blogging so I'm going back to writing about the things I enjoy.  I'm not really worried about losing mainstream readers because my blogs were never that mainstream anyways. 

If anything, this past year, asked me to write for them as a Gay Dating Advice expert because of a filthy blog I wrote about Gay Sex a while back.  I also got kudos from another gay website that listed me as one of their top 100 Gay Bloggers.

Even though I am very happy with these kudos, I can't say if I'll continue to keep writing in that vein to keep up that rep, know what I mean? After all, it wasn't what I was originally going for.  Initially I was just writing about stuff that interested me and it was a personal blog, so thats what I want to get back into.  So as I write, whatever comes of it is whatever comes of it.

This writing renewal I'm making to myself also coincides with a promise I made to myself earlier last year that when I get to my 10 year stand up comedy mark that I want to stretch my comedy writing into topics I could never joke about before.  I'm at the point in my comedy career that if I can't start joking about the topics I really want to talk about than what point is there to doing comedy?  Fuck the bullshit.


Sunday, July 14, 2013

Cory Monteith Dead

Wow, I was totally shocked to learn Cory Monteith of, "Glee" , fame passed away this evening.  He was found dead in his hotel room in Vancouver, Canada:  Cory played the adorable Finn on Fox's acclaimed comedy musical tv show.  His fans will miss him greatly! RIP Cory

"Cory Montheith's life was cut tragically short on Saturday, July 13. The Glee star, who celebrated his 31st birthday on May 11, was found dead in a hotel room at the Fairmont Pacific Rim Hotel in Vancouver, Canada, police announced in a press conference.

Monteith had recently completed treatment for substance addiction. On March 31 of this year, he announced via his rep that he had voluntarily checked himself into rehab, buoyed by the support of his girlfriend, Lea Michele, and others. "Cory is a beloved member of the Glee family, and we fully support his decision to seek treatment," 20th Century Fox TV said in a statement at the time. 'Everyone at the show wishes him well and looks forward to his return'

In recent weeks, the actor had seemed happier and healthier. After leaving rehab on Apr. 26, he tweeted his appreciation to fans. "Sending out big love to everyone," he wrote. "Thank you for the continued support! It means the world to me" - Yahoo News

Thursday, July 11, 2013

Pizza Art by Domenico Crolla

Domenico Crolla has done what Andrew McCarthary's character could not do in the 1980's movie cult hit, "Mannequin" , and thats maintain a job while keeping his artistic integrity as a pizza maker.

Check out Domenico's fabulous pizza creations of celebrities!  Its definitely a whose who of the worlds pop icons!

                                        Barack Obama
                                           Bruce Lee
                                          The Pope
                                          Simon Cowell

Tuesday, July 9, 2013

ESPN Body Issue 2013

I just got down fishing the web for this years ESPN Body Issue Pictures 2013, enjoy!

                                Colin Kaepernick - Football
                                Colin Kaepernick - Football
                       Colin Kaepernick - Football
                                 Colin Kaepernick - Football
                        Colin Kaepernick - Football
                                         Elene Hight - Snowboard
                           Giancarlo Stanton - Baseball
                                  Giancarlo Stanton - Baseball
                                      Matt Harvey - Baseball
                                        Matt Harvey - Baseball
                           Matt Harvey - Baseball
                            Joffrey Lupul - Hockey
                              Joffrey Lupul - Hockey
                            Joffrey Lupul - Hockey
                            John Isner - Tennis
                                 Kenneth Faried - Basketball
                           Kerri Walsh - Volleyball

Monday, July 8, 2013

Gay Marriage in California !!

As many of you already know, the United States Supreme Court overturned Prop.8:

"Proposition 8, known informally as Prop 8, was a California ballot proposition and a state constitutional amendment passed in the November 2008 California state elections. The proposition was created by opponents of same-sex marriage in advance of[2] the California Supreme Court's May 2008 appeal ruling, In re Marriage Cases, which found the previous attempt to ban same-sex marriage (Proposition 22, 2000) unconstitutional. Proposition 8 was also ultimately ruled unconstitutional by a federal court (on different grounds) in 2010, although only confirmed on June 26, 2013 following the conclusion of proponents' appeals" - Wikipedia

and the U.S. Supreme Court also overturned DOMA:

"The Defense of Marriage Act (DOMA) (Pub.L. 104–199, 110 Stat. 2419, enacted September 21, 1996, 1 U.S.C. § 7 and 28 U.S.C. § 1738C) is a United States federal law that allows states to refuse to recognize same-sex marriages granted under the laws of other states. Until Section 3 of the Act was ruled unconstitutional in 2013, DOMA, in conjunction with other statutes, had also effectively barred same-sex married couples from being recognized as "spouses" for purposes of federal laws, or receiving federal marriage benefits" - Wikipedia

So this now means Gay couples can legally wed in the state of California and are entitled to federal benefits nationwide.

This was such a momentous and historical occasion that I was compelled to march in this years San Francisco Gay Pride Parade and share my happiness, so here you go:



Sunday, July 7, 2013

Liam Hemsworth Naked

Miley Ray Cyrus is very lucky, this picture of Actor Liam Hemsworth would make me sing, "Party in the USA" , too!



My tenure is coming up and really, what a tenure is, its an academic term college professors use to signify their 10 year teaching mark in the academic arena.  When college professors come to their respective 10 year mark, the university they're stationed with will usually ask them to write another dissertation to re-establish their progress and commitment to their area of emphasis.

So for me, my tenure is equivalent to completing my first role in a feature film called, "All The Others Were Practice"  .

It took me 10 years to learn stand up comedy and progress to being a great entertainer.  After I got to my first hour of performing stand up comedy, I wasn't satisfied, so I kept writing and performing and when I got to my 2nd hour, I still wasn't satisfied.  By no means do I claim to know everything about stand up comedy because I'm always learning something, but in the back of my head I knew there was something missing that made me feel legitimate to my craft, our industry doesn't exactly give out pieces of paper to assess the growth in our field.

It wasn't until I was done filming that I realized stand up comedy has been preparing me how to act the whole time.

This awakening came thru the notes of the director, on some shoot days he would say, "this has been the problem we keep running into, you keep coming across cold, we need a connection between you and your scene partner" .

And then the little light bulbs in my head began to go off because his feedback matched a lot of the constructive criticism I received over the years from my comedy peers.  After he said that I put into a gear and knew exactly what he was talking about but that shouldn't suggest I was always on point because there were many days where I really struggled to get into the feeling of the scenes.

On those days I want to say my Indianess became a hindrance.  And by that I mean, everyone that I know in the Native community has this zen like quality about them, a feeling of peace and bliss around their aura's, to outsiders they think its just our stone cold Indian face, expressionless, quiet, silent, and catatonic.  So on a lot of days it was hard for me to break away from my quiet happiness.

I can honestly say being apart of this movie was very gratifying and it fulfilled a big part of my life, and now, I can finally say with a full heart that, I'm an artist.



Friday, July 5, 2013

What goes around ...

I absolutely love how the universe works.

Basically we live in a world that works in energy, what you get is what you put out.

Very recently I was attacked on the web by some comedians who I bumped from my Hella Gay Comedy Show this past year, all of who I had specific reasons for bumping.

What I've learned from producing my own comedy shows is that if you're not the booker, you're basically a guest on someones elses time & energy as they're trying to help you promote your brand.

For me personally, I don't think of myself as a diva when it comes to producing comedy shows but when push comes to shove, enough is enough and I had to put my foot down with a few, "comedic personalities" , who felt they were entitled to more than what they deserved.

Its at times like these can you see a persons true colors.

In the past, when I got bumped from a show, I just accepted it because frankly, its not a big deal.  Nor did I run to the internet to try and seek justice from smearing another persons name in the mud.

So really, the only satisfaction I got was watching the universe run its course with these people, all of who got what was coming to them.  And by that I mean, all I did was sit back and watch them project their issues onto other unsuspecting people and then watch them get bit in the ass right back for doing so.

And honestly, it wasn't difficult for me not to chime in with their naysayers because seeing their flaws thru the objective eyes of others was satisfaction enough.

So really, the only difference between me and these other imbeciles is I know that my shit stinks.