This past month I ended a relationship with somebody who I really admired, one of my comedy idols.
I can't do unhealthy friendships anymore. That's what I get for looking up to a chronic substance abuser. For me, my whole life has been about facing my personal short comings and dealing with those issues head on, so I've finally realized that looking up to a basehead has negated my own principles. I can't do it anymore.
For me, I bring trust, faith, loyalty, honesty, laughter and some other great qualities to a friendship.
I can't do lies, selfishness, self-centeredness, and that other self serving bullshit.
I guess that's why I'm so guarded and rarely let anyone in anymore. Don't get me wrong, I'm not jaded by failed friendships and I still very much believe in the goodness of people, I just finally stopped taking everything for face value.
Really, the only way to get to know somebody is by spending time with them, which is why I think so many marriages don't work out, because like friendships, you really don't know someone until you've seen their good side and bad side.
I think idols are important because they remind us of the people we want to be & as it turns out, I was looking up to the wrong person the whole time, so now it's time for me to be the person I've always looked up to and be my own hero, minus all the bullshit.