Saturday, February 18, 2012


Do you guys ever wonder how smart you are and if so, which aptitude test you would most excel at?

I've had a couple bright moments in my life which made me feel very smart and I'd like share them with you guys.

The first one when I was watching Jeopardy with my mom's ex boyfriend - Al. It was a typical Jeopardy episode where I pretty much didn't know any of the questions to the listed answers on the tv monitors.

However, my knowledge of random trivia hit a high when Alex Trebek asked the contestants this last question on the show, the topic was Geography, heres the question (jeopardy):

"Name the capitol city of this state which has the same name of a river running threw the state of Arizona"

Does anyone give up because the answer is Salt Lake City, Utah. The Salt River runs Phoenix, Arizona.

I only knew the answer because I went to school with so many Salt River Pima's from Phoenix, Arizona. That river is named after their tribe.

For one split second I felt super smart and was like, "I should go audition for that show" , but seeing as how I only managed to answer the final question correctly out of the other ninety nine questions asked, I figured probably not.

Another high I.Q moment came when I was checking out some books at the now defunct City Lights Bookstore in the Castro.

When this bookstore was open, I use to love love browsing the gay social magazines, coffee table books, and the occasional gay porn magazine.

On a sunny afternoon there were a stack of MENSA quiz cards on display, they looked fun. I guess these cards were used with real MENSA students and made into a form of trivia entertainment.

I have never considered myself a MENSA intellect but I was game enough to try one quiz card to see what it said and if I could answer it.

To this day, I can't remember what the card question was but it was definitely a brain teaser, knowing that, I changed my logic around and when I came up with my answer, turned the card around and boom, I was right. I felt so special that day because I was like, "wow, I am smart" . Thats amazing how I came to that conclusion considering that I only picked one card and answered it right. hahaha I figure one card is enough, why ruin the streak right?

My last highlight came from college. We were sitting in our Art Appreciation class watching slides of paintings and the teacher asked us to identify them. WTF? Are you serious? I mean hello, thats why we were taking this class in the first place, so we could learn about different types of art but I guess the art appreciation instructor felt we should already have a knowledge art base and thats what we were being quizzed on.

And whats funny is, when none of my classmates couldn't identify any of the paintings or what they meant, she was like, "okay, lets move to the next one" , okay hold on wait a minute, isn't that why we're in this class, so if we don't know what is being discussed, the instructor can then explain what is trying to be to conveyed in class? And then this dumb instructor had the nerve to get mad at us because we didn't know any of the art pieces she was projecting on the wall.

My old friend Regina Charles was able to identify a painting and it was the Mary Magdelan, you know, the hooker that turned Jesus turned into a homemaker. Go Gina for knowing your religious history!

I was feeling really lost in that class until the instructor showed this really abstract painting which I immediately identified.

My first interpretation was, "this painting is very aggressive with the lines, its very fast moving, and colorful, and I could tell the stick figure in the middle is a woman because her breast are very pointy" , and she was all, "thats great but what does it mean" , and I said, "oh, it means that women are aggressive" . And she said, "correct" .

She then went on to say, "the artist who created this painting was definitely hurt by women and thats what he is trying to portray" .

And thats when the red flag in my brain went off because shes obviously giving her opnion of his work and not being objective.

I quickly rebutted, "why do you think he was hurt, if I could see what the artist was trying convey, it must be true" .

I was so ready to debate with this bitch because I think thats what she wanted.

In the end, I ended withdrawing from the class and from college that semester because of personal hardship and when I was leaving her class, she said to me, "its too bad you're leaving because you were one of my brightest students" .

And all I could think was, "this crazy bitch is holding me up from getting my drink on" .


No comments:

Post a Comment