Tuesday, January 5, 2010

The Dirty Truth

I can't pretend to front. Sometimes doing comedy makes me sick to my stomach. Don't get me wrong, I love what I do but there's a darker side to stand up comedy and it mainly has to do with the weird competitive rivalries and jealous fits that stand up performers have for each other.

I can stand crooked bookers, finicky audiences, or even the occasional slutty comedy club food runner who doesn't return my calls but if it's one thing I won't tolerate, it's a moronic stand up comedian. Before I start getting all politically correct, I totally understand we're in the business of being professional jack asses but I think many comedians take themselves way too seriously. I call it the Idiot Syndrome. To a point it messes with their ego, superego, id, or whatever you want to call it. Somehow stand up comedy opens up their inner asshole and then we as their peers, have to deal with them. It's only in stand up comedy do you see these bizaar transformations take place. It's make me wonder if people treat each other like this in other occupations?

For me, I decided a couple of years ago not to associate with any comedian who I think is emotionally unstable. That's what prevents me from falling into that comedic cycle of self loathing, it's so unattractive.

I still remember my first night hanging out at the Punchline Comedy Club and watching the, "regulars" , strut down the aisles like there shit didn't stink and all I could think to myself was, "what a dipshit" . I knew this wasn't a geographical phenomenon because on my first comedy outing to L.A. I experienced this weird emotional backlash from another comedian. I just got through auditioning at the IceHouse, did really well, and went to Culver City for an open mic. While signing up I saw this guy who was at the IceHouse audition too and right as I was going to say hello he just snarled at me. I guess. And so that's when I began to clue myself in that most comedians aren't "all there" .

I feel sad for all comedians who fall into that mode. I think they're missing the point of being a stand up comedian. What pains me is when I see veteran stand up comedians who've been doing it for years and then they take their bitterness out on the younger comedians. I guess that's because they couldn't cut it as a successful comedian and have to release their angst on the hapless or unsuspecting. That's show business for you.

This goes without saying that not all comedians are sociopaths. I've met some pretty nice people while doing this and I can always tell from the very first impression if they're whacko or not.

My general rule for meeting new comedians is that if I sense one ounce of attitude than their ass can keep walking.

There are some stand up comedians that I do tolerate, only because I have to, but for the most part, I'd say there's only a handful of stand up's that I actuallly feel comfortable socializing with.

Thank God I have real friends. I was smart for spending most of my 20's making real BFF's all over Indian country. Because most of those friendships are ever lasting, that's what I love about Indian people, they know how to keep it real. I feel sorry for the other comedians who feel they have to lie and put on faces to each other to be friends. But that's White people for you. Like that one queen said on the judging panel of America's Next Top Model, "that's how we all get along" . And all I have to that I say is, "whatever" .

Earlier this summer another comedian accused me of being a shitty comedian. Then later on in the Fall I found out that same comedian was selling defective merchandise and severely underselling themselves as professional entertainment. It's funny how karma works itself out.

There's a lesson to this blog, don't be an asshole because it will catch up with you.

Gods Speed

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