Sunday, November 4, 2012

Letter to my Fans

Hey guys, this blog has been a long time coming.

First, I want to thank everyone at large for their continued support of my comedy career but also, this blog is aimed at the half ass support I've been given over the years by so called, "friends" .

Just so you guys know who this blog is directed to, if any of you have ever come to my shows as an audience member, or have booked me to play your venue, this blog isn't about you.

This blog is for all the quasi support I've been given by the Bay Area Native community members who never come to any of my shows and then have the nerve to ask me how my comedy career going?

Since 2003, I've answered every call to my Bay Area Native community members to do benefits, community events, classroom presentations, and any other way I could give back.  So its a strange feeling for me to be asked to give so much and not receive any support back in return.

I do keep track of the community members who come to my shows and its less then what anyone would expect.  The general feeling that I get from my Bay Area Native community members is they don't care about what I do and I am hurt by that tremendously.

And whats weird about that, this has become only a Bay Area Native phenomenon. When I went down to L.A, the L.A. Native community came out in droves.  When I took a group up to Idaho, the Idaho Native community came out in droves.

When I see other ethnic comedians in the Bay Area perform, I see there communities come out and support them.  I can't but help turn a green eye and ask myself, "where are my peeps" ?

From the beginning of my comedy career, I have identified myself as a Native American comedian because I am very proud of my heritage.  I have never thought of myself as an exclusive comedian, meaning I never thought my comedy was geared only towards one group of people but it does get tough for me sometimes performing in front of non-native audiences, and I do keep asking myself who am I here for, them or us?

Here are some good examples of me having to bite my tongue over the years to the lame support I have been given:.

1) I went to a friends BBQ and this Native guy was asking if I knew this other comedian from SF. All he did was rant & rave about how great she was, thats fine, but what raised my eyebrow was why he would support her shows and not mine?  And then this muthafucker tried to ramble his way out of it and say, "oh, we just randomly went to a comedy show" .  Seriously, how old does this guy think I am, 12?  I'm a grown adult, I'm not going to get butt hurt if anybody doesn't want to see me perform but no one should have to lie to me for being flakey, for fucks sake, own up to it.

2) Generally I don't ask anyone to come to the comedy open mics because they can be very painful and grueling on audiences but during an open mic in Oakland, I saw another Native friend at the club who was there to support someone else, after I had been asking him for years to come to one of my shows.

To make a long story short, I'm at the 10 year mark of comedy career and will keep going because I'm good at what I do.

Tonight, I extended an open invitation to my Bay Area Native Community to come see me perform at the Punchline Comedy Club and the only person that came out was my mom.

I'm not surprised because my mom has always been there for me, I just wish other people took time of their schedules to join me as I have done for them.

I am not defeated, I am not discouraged, because I am only getting started, with or without you.

And oh, Happy Native American Heritage Month.


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