Friday, December 16, 2011

Margaret Cho-esque Blog

Hey all, I finally got some free time on my hands so I wanted to spend it creatively.

Whenever I surf the web, I always navigate non-discriminately because I never know whats going to peak my interest but I am beginning to see a pattern in my interest. Here's a quick list of my web topics today:

- Food
- Famous Naked Celebrities (Mario Lopez)
- The Shortest Woman in the World
- Sports
- Margaret Cho

If any of you guys follow my blogs, then you guys know how much of a big Margaret Cho fan I am. Seriously, I know its Christmas so if anybody wants to kidnap her and drop her off on my doorstep all wrapped in up Christmas paper, that would be super awesome.

haha just kidding, I'm only devilish with her because I can be.

But seriously, I do read a lot of her blogs and love her writing style, so much that I'm going to try and write a blog using her very descriptive writing method, enjoy.


The Very First Time I Lost My Viginity (True Story)

The very first time I let a guy penetrate me with his dick was when I was 16. That was my sophomore year of high school when I decided to stay home from Sherman. Staying home from Sherman was a big mistake for me, I knew Riverside was the place I wanted to be but for whatever reason I decided to stay home in 1990. So to bide my time until I could go back to Sherman, I had to find a way to keep myself busy socially and so I found the # 900 Gay Chat lines in the newspapers. I definitely found men to hook up with on the # 900 Gay Chat lines, and thinking back on it, I always tried to sound older when talking talking to strange men on the phone, I don't know why, if I knew then how much my youth was a hot commodity I would have tried to sound younger.

I was such a goof trying to talk to older men on the phone. There was this one college guy from Berkeley but I kept giggling with and that really annoyed him. He was all, "what is so funny, why are you laughing" . And honestly, I was really nervous. I had a hard time projecting an older image and couldn't keep it going. I just remember how irate he got with me and how he still wanted me to come over and screw me, thank goodness I passed.

Calling the # 900 Gay Chat was usually a hit or miss for me, sometimes I would hook up with a really cute guy or a nasty looking troll. This scene got old for me really quick and I wanted something different. Once, I remember talking to an older guy and I asked him where everyone was at, he said, "everyone's at the Bench & Bar" . As soon as he told me it was a gay bar I could not wait to hang up on old his ass and venture out.

My first impressions of the Bench & Bar, it was this little dive bar tucked away near the Oakland Museum, right above an underpass. When I was first walked in, obviously, everyone was older and surprisingly I didn't get carded. In all fairness I did look old for my age. I remember going to Reno for a bowling tourney that year and I didn't get card at the Roulette table while other 20 somethings around me did, I don't know, maybe it was the way I carried myself too, who knows.

For the next 15 or so years, the Bench and Bar became my second home. I saw so many Black Drag Shows on Sunday night and spent many of my Friday nights learning how to salsa, cumbia, and merenge at the Latin Explosion night.

On one fateful night, while still in high school, I decided to let this old Black troll take me home with him. I still remember the apartment complex he took me to, it was right next to the BART tracks near San Leandro, California. It never occurred to me that this man was obviously not my type but at this age, I didn't know I had a type. I also remember being a good liar to him. He kept asking me all these personal questions like where I lived and what I do, none of which I told him but I do remember lying to him about the fancy neighborhood I lived in called, "Ridge Crest" , which is in the Oakland hills. He knew exactly where I was talking about because he said, "oh, you must be rich" .

When we got back his place, we got undressed and played around. We did the usual oral versatile thing and after we were done with the preliminary blow jobs, he pulled my legs over his shoulders and said, "this is what you want" , and then he put his old wrinkly Black cock into my asshole. Thinking back, its probably a good thing his dick was old and wrinkly because he could have seriously hurt me with a younger viral cock. For me, that was the first time I got penetrated, he jabbed me just once with his cock and that was enough. I really thought I was going to die after that. For some stupid reason I thought I was going to enjoy it like all the gay bottoms I saw in the gay porns but now I see where why they're called porn, "actors" , because that shit fucking hurts. After he put it in I immediately pulled it out and started curling up but couldn't because it hurt to curl. I can still remember the pain to this day, it was unbearable.

After wiping the tears from my face, I put my clothes back on because the date was over. He drove me back to the Bench & Bar and that was that.

(to be continued)



  1. thought it was a guy who stuck a hose up your ass hole. as a douche.

  2. no but I have been considering it lately ...

  3. consider? it was done. what, you had dirt in there?

  4. Not with a garden hose DUMB ASS!!!

  5. oh my god your so inlove right now???

    i like this your blog.