Tuesday, December 20, 2011


I just got through watching, "The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo" , and it was a pretty good flick. The movie has a lot of themes going on, the main one being survival. It seems to be a pretty common occurrence for movie writers to peg human beings who have an excellent survival instinct to also to be emotionless, apathetic, and deeply void of feelings.

Which makes me think that feelings are a luxury that so many people take disadvantage of.

I love watching movies because there stories expand my conscientiousness, like this one.

Watching, "The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo" , made me think about how my life has been conditioned or should I say, raised.

One time my mom said to me, "I raised you to be safe" , and that really took me by surprise because I didn't know what she meant by that.

Then another time, a friend from school - Nyla, her mom said the same thing about me, she said, "I like Charlie because he's safe" .


And still to this day I never really got a full explanation from either person what they meant by that.

This also makes me think that somewhere out there are parents who raise there kids to be courageous, independent, go getter's, smart, stupid, non-shalant, or whatever main family characteristic they wanted to pass onto their children.

For me, the word safe sums me up pretty good.

When I think of a safe person, I think of someone who was made not meant to be targeted emotionally or physically, someone who doesn't take chances because they have been raised to believe they're not good enough or believing achieving great success is done without chance or risk. To me, safe is a great word to describe someone who is trust worthy, reliable, honest, and avoids any kind of danger.

I wonder if this is the emotional baggage that's been keeping me fat for so long?

Sometimes I wish words or feelings were physical objects so that we could cut out of ourselves like fat because if it were, I would not only get my stomach stapled, I would remove any part of me that made me feel like shit or held me back.

Right now, I don't really care if I'm still regarded as safe or not. The value that I want to possess the most right now is having a brain and being able to think for myself. I appreciate the value of seeing my ideas come to fruition, especially if they're really good ones.

Because for me, there's nothing in the world like making a good decision especially when my life is concerned, hhhhhmmmmmmmm, I wonder if thats me safe again?

And FYI, this is one of my top 5 best blogs that I have ever written.



  1. Go visit a shrink. psycho FAG...

  2. Yay, it's a visit from #1 hater stalker fan. For a minute there I was beginning to think that you didn't have anything else better do today, let me guess, your midget porn DVD finally gave out from watching it too much?

    Thanks for the comment about visiting my shrink, maybe I can schedule you a session for your J-E-A-L-O-U-S-Y issues.


  3. you never gave back the dvd. seriously, no one is jealous of YOU!!!