Tuesday, April 12, 2011

Bizarre Dream

Wow. Just woke up from a crazy dream.

This time I was at the old house on 35th/E.14th and we had roommates. I had the back room where the washers use to be and I think my brother had the front room and tucked in the corner were these two black ladies, I think they were sisters, there's nothing unusual about that right? So the two black ladies started bickering about what room they wanted to stay in and I was like, "well how about the main bedroom" ? So I show them where the walk in closet is with the connecting bathroom and they love it. I said, "this room has the best view of the 35th/E.14th St anywhere" .

So when I showed them the last room in the front, that's when the scenery changes. As soon as we walk into my old room, we're in a small casino but I still know this use to be my old room.

As I'm walking around I see a lady shuffling her cards on a BlackJack table and a card falls to the floor and I remember saying, "card down out" , which is what my dealer friends taught me how to say when you're learning how to be BlackJack dealer.

So, as I'm still walking around the casino floor, I still can't believe how this whole casino was able to fit into my small old room. And I remember telling people, "can you believe I use to sleep in here" ?

So as I'm done walking around, I come across this weird casino game where it looks like you roll a bowling ball over a slump and make it land in the middle. I know this game, I've seen it and have done it a million times at amusement parks.

But as I inspect more the game more closely, it's not that game at all.

In the middle, on top of a stage, huddled around what looks like these bowling ball
contraptions is a beautiful woman. And the announcer comes to the stage and says, "the object of this game is to guess how old she is, so if you want to play, everyone please place your bet now" .

So I looked down and as it turns out, those bowling ball contraptions weren't bowling ball contraptions at all, they were like little machines where you place your bet. Of course right, I mean hello, I am in a casino. So I place my bet.

Two seconds later I see the lady coming off stage and see a crowd gathering around her, they're all inspecting her upclose to gather a more accurate guess of her age. So the crowd leaves and it's just me and her.

I looked at everybody and shout out, "this is going to be easy, I pick women apart women everyday" .

So as I closely inspect her goods, the first thing I notice is that she's not fully a woman because I see her chest is flat. I look at her closely and realize this is a tranny painted in gold. I thought, "wow, whoever invented this game is good" .

And then as I come up to her face, I started closely looking for signs of age, I see she has little crow's feet wrinkles around her eye and then I was like, "oh, I know hold old she is" . So then I immediately went back to my spot to enter her age in the computer, I guessed her age at 31.

So then the tranny went back on stage to reveal her age, she pulled out a mini boxing card, unfolded the the flap and it said 31.

I have to admit, before she was pulling back the flap, I felt the tension, waning, and excitement that goes along with gambling. I was like, "c'mon, c'mon.. let me be right" .

So when it said 31 I immediately flipped out and started doing my Native American lulu shout. I was like, "lu lu lu..lu..lu...lu..lu..lu...lu.lu..lu.lu..lu..." !

If some of you guys don't know what the lu lu thing is, don't worry, it's a Native American yell that denotes victory. The tribes from the Plains did this a lot.

Anyhoo, me being the person I am. I start rubbing it in to everyone's face. I was like, "that's right, I won,, I won... look at me.. I won" . *insert gloating giggle*

When I won, the pit boss asked me if I wanted casino credit.

I was like, "hellz no, I want the cash" .

So the man paid me 100$ and then I continued to walk threw out the casino.

I could've played a few more slot games as I was leaving but I knew when to quit, so I just walked out with my winnings.



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